You are not your degree.
You are not your career.
You are not how good or bad your marriage is.
You are not your kids’ accomplishments or mistakes.
You are not the neighborhood you live in.
You are not your material possessions.
You are not the religion you practice.
You are not your health diagnosis.
You are not even your accomplishments or mistakes.
We get wrapped in these identity markers. There’s a good reason for it — we humans use these labels and criteria both to differentiate from one another and to find common ground. They help us express ourselves and understand each other.
The problem is when we assume these identities so intensely; we believe they define our worth. We create an image of ourselves based on all these factors and then we either hate ourselves for them, or we love them and fight like hell to make sure we maintain them — even when that image isn’t an accurate representation of our current existence.
So if you’re not any of the above, then what are you?
You’re a human being experiencing this game of life. I love the idea that you are a spiritual being having a human experience in this life. In this game, there are experiences you can control, and many you can’t. There are surprises and plot twists, roadblocks, challenges, and some lucky breaks. You are playing this game with the cards you’ve been dealt. And the beauty of this game is that you can change; you can evolve; you can start over, and sometimes you can even create a new deck to play with.
My son is an actor. Ever since he was little, people refer to him as “the star,” or “the actor.” I could see where he could confuse that label with whom he is. I always remind him — “you are not an actor. You are a being who loves acting. So long as you love it, keep doing it. And if one day you decide not to be an actor anymore, you will still be that incredible being ready to experience something new in life.”
The same goes for you — no matter what you’re known for, proud of, or what you identify with, know that you are a special being that is experiencing that. If that ever changes, you will still be you — you’ll just be ready to experience something different.
