Happy Sacred Sunday!

Today I’m taking my mother and my family to the Keys for Mother’s Day.

On the surface, this looks like the kind of trip you’d long for. Sunshine, family, a beautiful drive, the highlight reel of a fun Sunday.

But in reality, going on this trip wasn’t an easy decision to make.

My sister is having open heart surgery on Thursday. And the truth is, all of us are bracing for it. My mother. My brother. My sister. My family. Me. It’s human nature to worry, to brace, to live in the future when something hard is coming. 

My mom feels it most acutely because she’s the mother, she’s seventy-seven years old, and worry has always been one of the ways she shows love. Her instinct, and honestly all of our instincts, is to stay home and wait. Pause life. Hold our breath until Thursday.

I understand that pull. But I’ve learned something over the years that I keep coming back to:

When you sit and wait for good things to happen, you live in frustration. You spend your life waiting for happiness to come … when. 

Similarly, when you sit and wait for bad things to happen, you live in suffering. And as Seneca reminds us, we often suffer more in imagination than in reality. 

In both scenarios, the day in front of us, the only one you actually have, slips by. 

Going to the Keys today is a proactive choice. Choosing to leave the house, get in the car, and have a beautiful day in spite of what’s coming on Thursday is the harder thing. And it’s the thing I want to practice.

Because every hard moment is a rehearsal. You are practicing who you are becoming. Whatever you do today is what you reinforce.

I learned this from two experiences in my life. .

When I was in college, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and traveled to Atlanta for an experimental radiation treatment. I drove up to be with him for the first round. We walked out of the clinic on a Friday morning, and the doctor told him the symptoms would probably hit within twenty-four hours.

My dad turned to me and said, “Do you want to go to Six Flags?”

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. We were the for his cancer treatment! He said, “Tomorrow I might feel awful. But I feel fine today. So let’s enjoy it!”

So we went. We rode roller coasters all afternoon, stopped at White Castle on the way back, and ate burgers in the hotel room laughing until we fell asleep. It is still one of my most cherished memories with him.

The least memorable thing about that trip is that we were there for cancer.

That was the beginning of a seventeen-year battle with three different cancers. What I’ve realized, looking back, is that we lived seventeen beautiful years in spite of cancer instead of letting cancer dominate those seventeen years. My dad taught me how to live in the in the middle of the wait. 

I think about my best friends, Betsy & Alain, too.

A few years ago, their daughter died when she was just 2 years and 9 months old.  Just a couple of weeks later, their son turned one. They had already planned his first birthday party, a sweet little gathering at a play gym. 

When Fofi died, they had to decide whether to go through with that party.

The easy decision would have been to cancel. Nobody would have judged them. Nobody expects a grieving mother and father to throw a birthday party. Their baby was only turning one. He wouldn’t even remember.

But they went ahead with the party.

Because they had made a choice. They had decided they were going to be happy again one day. They had decided they were going to keep living for the children they still had. And they understood something most people don’t want to face:

If you wait until you feel ready to be happy again, you might sit in that misery forever.

You have to practice becoming the person you want to be, even when that version of you hasn’t arrived yet. Especially then.

So today we are choosing to make it a beautiful day. Not because these are the best of times … but rather because this is the only time we actually have.

And that brings me to you: What are you not enjoying today because you’re too focused on the future?

May today be a gentle reminder that a happy life isn’t something you achieve, it’s a choice you make. 

Sending you so much love today and always,

P.S. Every Mother’s Day, I pull out a little box from my closet that holds every card and drawing my boys have ever made me. I display them all over the living room. I read them. I look at them. And then I put them away until next year.

Marie Kondo taught me that the things you keep are meant to bring you joy, and if you don’t enjoy them, then they are not fulfilling their purpose. So I refuse to keep these cards locked in a box where they fulfill nothing. Once a year, I let them do their job. I get to relive every season of their childhood, even the seasons that have already passed. It is one of my favorite rituals of the year.

P.P.S. This week’s podcast I’m sharing lessons learned in my own motherhood journey and how it led me to entrepreneurship … and then became the comfort zone that kept me from proactively pursuing my dreams.  In many ways, it’s the same lesson as the one from this email. If we wait for when, we miss what is now … and that’s how we drift. Tune in here.

 

Happy Sacred Sunday!

My eyes opened naturally at 9am this morning. A time that was unheard of for me, until the last few months when things have shifted.

To give you some context:

I have been, what my girlfriend and I lovingly call, a morning friend for a very long time. I would typically wake up between 5 and 6am (sometimes earlier), and every once in a while I might sleep in until 6:30 or 7am, which felt pretty rebellious.

Morning time is my time. To think. To journal. To exercise. To read. To spend time with other morning friends.

For me, this is the time I use to recharge my personal battery before the day begins. Witnessing the transition from darkness to sunlight is like your cell phone reaching the 100% green light.

But I have stepped into a new season.

The season of older teenagers.

It feels like there is something every day that pushes their bedtime later and later. Practices, rehearsals, youth groups, homework, football games, weekend parties, sleepovers, and now prom season to name a few.

It has become a game of adaptation and adjustments. Every day a new sleep challenge for me to conquer. Some days I still manage to have my mornings. Other days I don’t.

Last night was particularly interesting.

My son was going to be late.

At some point I was laying in bed with the light on, reading a book, falling in and out of sleep. Every once in a while a text or my brain would wake me up, and I would check to see what the status was. My husband picked him up at around 2:45am and I heard their voices walking in around 3am. I got up to chat with him. Hear some stories. Give him a hug.

And then I went back to sleep. Hence the 9am wake up.

I laughed out loud when I saw my Oura ring’s response to my evening.

It classified my sleep as a nap!

But seriously, my first thought when I saw the time was, ugh my day is ruined.

I focused on what I dislike about this change. How I missed when my kids were little and home all the time, and mornings were all mine. How I used to wake up and go for a long run before the world woke up and how great I would feel all day long. How different it feels when you wake up and the sun is so bright you feel like the day has already passed.

I felt like when you accidentally leave the phone off the charger all night and then spend the day dealing with a low battery phone, charging it in little spurts.

But I only indulged in these thoughts for a minute.

Because here is the truth.

I do not stay up because I have to. My husband is a night owl and he always stays up to make sure my son gets home safe. Also, if we’re being honest, staying up doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t actually keep my kids safe. 

I stay up because I do not want to miss the moment. I enjoy hearing my sons’ stories. I love to sit with my boys and their buddies when they get home from a party laughing, chatting, and grabbing snacks from the fridge. I love giving them a hug and kiss at the end of the night. 

This is a season where there is so much life happening after dark that if I go to sleep too early, I will miss it.

I know my boys will be grown before I have time to process this, and then there will be a part of me who would give anything for my Oura ring to classify my night as a good nap.

That is the thing about seasons. We tend to romanticize the past and complain about the present. We pretend we do things because we have to, not because we want to. And we focus on the parts we do not like instead of the parts we will romanticize when this present moment becomes the past.

So yes. I, too, get caught up in those thought errors sometimes.

I did this morning.

But I quickly snapped myself out of it. 

One day I know I will re-read this love letter I am writing to you, and I will remember this as the good ole’ days also. God knows I have clearly already forgotten what was hard about the days when my kids were little.

In the meantime, this week’s podcast episode is out and I am announcing the theme I chose for this new month of May. You will have to listen to find out what the theme is, but I will give you a clue. It is inspiring me to reimagine new ways to charge my self battery while I am in the season of teenagers!

That is all I have got for you today. Now I have got to get my day started before the sun goes down!

Sending you lots of love,

P.S. If you, too, want to do the practice of catching yourself in the season you are actually in, of being present for what is happening right now instead of mourning what was or longing for what is next, that is the work we do inside The Well. The first 10 women who join get a free upgrade to The Well VIP, which includes four private 1:1 calls with me throughout the year. The spots are filling and the bonus closes the moment the 10th woman joins. Click here to learn more.

Happy Sacred Sunday!

It’s the last Sunday of the month, and I’m sitting here, journal in hand, noticing what this April meant for me. What worked, what didn’t, and what I nurtured.

I also just received a brand new journal called The Five Year Journal, which invites you to write one line a day, every day of the year, for five years. This was a Ryan Holiday recommendation, and what got me was the thought that in five years, I’ll be in a completely different season of life than I am right now.

Currently I have three teenage boys at home. In five years, I will have an adult son, one in college, and a senior in high school. I’m curious who that version of me will be then.

Which is exactly the kind of question that’s been following me around all month.

Because I know that the season I’m in now is preparing me for the season that’s coming. And the seasons behind me prepared me for the one I’m in.

On that note, I hopped on a plane for a few quick trips this month. One to Austin to surprise my middle son, and the other to New York with Orly for a photo shoot.

Both trips stirred up something profound in me.

Let me explain.

I always felt my father was my soulmate. Whenever I had the chance to live in his world, those were some of my happiest moments. I loved how he was unconventional. Spontaneous. Whirlwind. Present. He came and went like the wind. Always bringing a smile on his face, big energy, and a fun story.

I felt the most me when I was with him.

And yet, I wanted a different life than my dad’s. I wanted a traditional family. A stable marriage. Kids I got to see every day. I wanted a life I believed his lifestyle could not support.

So I paved a different path.

But every once in a while, that part of my identity has surfaced… like the trips to Austin and New York.

This week, as I walked through the airport with Orly, a thought struck me:

They say life is not a dress rehearsal. You get one shot at this life, right?

But what if life is also a series of practice runs for a future version of us?

My son is preparing to be an actor one day. This trip was a practice run for his future life.

That’s when I had the moment of clarity.

Traveling with my dad when I was a little girl was a practice run for the mom who’d be traveling with her son one day.

I couldn’t have known it at the time, but I was in training for something bigger.

And the joy I felt was my soul’s knowing that this was part of my destiny.

Both trips created sparks of bliss.

On our return, we caught an earlier flight, and I realized I could make it to my cousin’s house for my nephew’s birthday party. I arrived just as they finished singing happy birthday and surprised everyone. My cousin looked at me and said, “You just pulled a Joachim de Posada.”

My heart fluttered.

Unconventional. Spontaneous. Whirlwind. Present.

This was a glimpse of my soul’s truest path.

I felt a spark of bliss.

It also reminded me that every season in life has its place and its purpose, when you live in alignment.

Each season in my life has trained me for the version of me I’m becoming. Even the saddest, most difficult ones. Even the ones that felt unclear.

And that’s one of the reasons I’ve begun naming my seasons. Because part of the magic of naming a season is understanding that you are both the author of your story and the protagonist finding her hero’s journey at the same time.

This week, I’m hosting a free workshop called Name the Season to help you do exactly that. We’ll sit together and name the season you’re in right now, so you stop drifting through it and start moving through it with intention.

If you’ve been feeling the pull of becoming, but you can’t quite name what you’re becoming into, this is for you. There are three dates and times on Zoom for you to attend at your convenience.

[Save your spot here] 

Your soul already knows what your sparks of bliss are. This is your invitation to pay attention.

I’ll see you there.

With love,

Happy Sacred Sunday!

I am going to make this week’s email short and sweet because I’m about to jump in the car and head to the Keys with my 5 Fingers to meet some friends.

I’m so excited about this spontaneous funday with my family.

To say I’ve been busy this month is an understatement. I’ve been in the trenches of coaching, traveling, parenting, and living. On top of my already full plate, I opened my calendar to offer complimentary Life Audits and have spent the last couple of weeks connecting with the most amazing women.

The month has been both full and fulfilling, but there hasn’t been much 5 Fingers time. I’ve spent time with every member of my family, but not all of us together.

So today we are taking some time off for each other, and I can’t wait.

Living with intention isn’t about perfect balance. It’s about learning to Notice. Name. Nurture. what matters most to you so you never drift too far out of alignment. So today I’m disconnecting from everything to reconnect with my core.

Before I go, I did want to let you know that this week’s podcast episode is out, and it is one of the most important conversations I’ve ever had on the show.

I sat down with my sister Kathy.

Kathy spent five months in the hospital fighting for her life. And in this episode, she does something brave. She tells the truth about why she didn’t start fighting until she had no choice. She talks about the years she spent compensating, letting her declining health stay hidden in plain sight by adjusting, accommodating, and working around it. Until she couldn’t.

That word stopped me cold when she said it. Compensating.

Because drift doesn’t always look like drift. Sometimes it looks like coping. Sometimes it looks like “I’ve got it handled.” Sometimes it looks like a woman who is very much alive but has quietly stopped truly living. It’s the reason I am constantly doing the work of noticing when I start drifting from one of my pillars.

Kathy and I talk about the difference between those two things. We talk about prayer, ownership without victimhood, and what it meant for her to be loved without being managed. And we talk about her word for this year, DARE.

If you have been drifting, or if you love someone who is, please listen to this one.

It is a conversation about choosing life on purpose, before life forces your hand.

Okay, logging off. I’ll back in your inbox soon. 

Sending you so much love today and always, 

Happy Sacred Sunday!

Greetings from the sky! I am currently on a plane flying to Austin, Texas to surprise my son.

Do you ever do something that feels like the truest expression of yourself?

Last night, as I packed my carry-on for a one-day trip, a visualization popped into my mind. I saw myself entering the airport, going through security, and boarding the plane. It was like replaying a movie I have watched many times before.

But the vision stirred something deep in me.

A spark of bliss.

You’d think the joy was because I was going to see my son. And I am so excited to surprise him. But that wasn’t it.

It was genuinely coming from the travel itself. Which, at first glance, makes no sense.

So I asked myself: where is this feeling coming from?

There is something about traveling alone that feels deeply, unmistakably like me. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a father who traveled solo so much of his life. Not sure, but I do know that my soul recognizes this as an important part of my human experience. The freedom to jump on a plane. The choice to honor that desire. Every step of the process feeling authentically mine.

I feel independent. I feel at peace. I feel at home.

What fascinates me is that I am such an extroverted person and I love people. I do not consider myself a loner in any way. And yet, that movie of walking into the airport, going through security, and boarding the plane alone feels the most like me.

I realize I may have just shown you how weird I am

But here’s why I’m sharing it. One of the practices I have in Living with Intention is to choose a theme for the month (for myself and our Bliss’n Up Community). The theme is one tool we use in re-aligning each month and making sure we are heading in the right direction. This month, I chose the theme: Ask April.

Ask April is dedicated to the questions worth sitting with, getting comfortable with, and worth asking.

Here’s one: Notice when you preview a moment about your life that sparks a deep emotion. Then ask yourself: what is it about that moment that is provoking that feeling? Because the more you notice those moments and name them, the more you can nurture a life that feels authentic and true.

That is what I want most for you. A life that feels like the truest expression of your soul.

And it starts by asking good questions.

This week on the podcast I’m sharing three questions that may be keeping you stuck and how to reframe them. I’ll give you a little hint: if you’ve ever struggled with finding your purpose, this episode will meet you right where you are. Listen to it, then come back to this email. I think you’ll see these true expression moments differently.

As for me, I’m signing off to go give my boy the biggest hug and kiss and enjoy one more adventure in his teenage life.

Sending you so much love, today and always.

 

 

P.S. This month I’m offering complimentary Life Audit calls, and the first round filled faster than I expected. More dates are coming later this week. If you want to be first to know when they open, comment LIFE AUDIT below and I’ll make sure you hear about it before anyone else.