If you’ve ever suffered a loss in your life–one that reaches to the depths of your soul–I suspect you’d tell me that no amount of time can heal a wound like that. And yet, I’ve witnessed families who’ve suffered immense loss heal and even find happiness again. It’s just that I can’t give “Time” the credit for their healing. So how do you heal a wound that runs so deep?
August 25th is a day I’ll never forget. It was on that day, five years ago, that our community suffered the loss of a precious little girl, Fofi, who was loved by many. At the time, the thought of this was unbearable. I remember being struck by the strength that my dear friends, Alain and Betsy (Fofi’s parents), demonstrated during that time even though I really couldn’t foresee what life would look like moving forward.
One day Alain and Betsy sat with their priest in their large walk-in closet–the only place they could find to escape the mass of people gathered in their home.
Alain asked his priest, “Will we ever feel happy again?”
His priest replied, “That’s your choice,” explaining to this young couple that for many people suffering means love but it doesn’t have to.Some people stay sad forever, and some people rebuild their lives and find joy again despite their loss. “Only you can answer that question, Alain.”
Early on, Alain and Betsy understood that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. They chose to honor their daughter through smiles, service, and giving, instead of tears. (To see the most beautiful interview of Betsy on how she made that choice, click here.)
Yes, they made a decision and the last five years have been a testament to that decision.
Since then, this couple gave life to another precious little girl.
They started a non for profit foundation, La Fofi’s Rainbow, to bring joy to families who are suffering.
Betsy and I ran a half-marathon in honor of her daughter, and then we completed our first full marathon shortly afterwards in honor of my dad who also passed.
Betsy is now helping individuals and couples transform their lives and relationships through individual therapy, couple’s therapy, workshops, speaking and training. But most importantly, Alain and Betsy have led their lives by example and served as an inspiration to all of us that we can overcome anything.
Today we celebrate. We celebrate a beautiful life that lives on in our hearts and memories and continues to impact the many families that need her. We celebrate Alain and Betsy’s resilience and strength. And we celebrate love. For without love, none of this would be possible.
A Moment of Clarity
The answer to the question: “Does time heals all wounds?” is “No.”