Happy Sacred Sunday!
My eyes opened naturally at 9am this morning. A time that was unheard of for me, until the last few months when things have shifted.
To give you some context:
I have been, what my girlfriend and I lovingly call, a morning friend for a very long time. I would typically wake up between 5 and 6am (sometimes earlier), and every once in a while I might sleep in until 6:30 or 7am, which felt pretty rebellious.
Morning time is my time. To think. To journal. To exercise. To read. To spend time with other morning friends.
For me, this is the time I use to recharge my personal battery before the day begins. Witnessing the transition from darkness to sunlight is like your cell phone reaching the 100% green light.
But I have stepped into a new season.
The season of older teenagers.
It feels like there is something every day that pushes their bedtime later and later. Practices, rehearsals, youth groups, homework, football games, weekend parties, sleepovers, and now prom season to name a few.
It has become a game of adaptation and adjustments. Every day a new sleep challenge for me to conquer. Some days I still manage to have my mornings. Other days I don’t.
Last night was particularly interesting.
My son was going to be late.
At some point I was laying in bed with the light on, reading a book, falling in and out of sleep. Every once in a while a text or my brain would wake me up, and I would check to see what the status was. My husband picked him up at around 2:45am and I heard their voices walking in around 3am. I got up to chat with him. Hear some stories. Give him a hug.
And then I went back to sleep. Hence the 9am wake up.
I laughed out loud when I saw my Oura ring’s response to my evening.
It classified my sleep as a nap! 🤦🏼♀️
But seriously, my first thought when I saw the time was, ugh my day is ruined.
I focused on what I dislike about this change. How I missed when my kids were little and home all the time, and mornings were all mine. How I used to wake up and go for a long run before the world woke up and how great I would feel all day long. How different it feels when you wake up and the sun is so bright you feel like the day has already passed.
I felt like when you accidentally leave the phone off the charger all night and then spend the day dealing with a low battery phone, charging it in little spurts.
But I only indulged in these thoughts for a minute.
Because here is the truth.
I do not stay up because I have to. My husband is a night owl and he always stays up to make sure my son gets home safe. Also, if we’re being honest, staying up doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t actually keep my kids safe.
I stay up because I do not want to miss the moment. I enjoy hearing my sons’ stories. I love to sit with my boys and their buddies when they get home from a party laughing, chatting, and grabbing snacks from the fridge. I love giving them a hug and kiss at the end of the night.
This is a season where there is so much life happening after dark that if I go to sleep too early, I will miss it.
I know my boys will be grown before I have time to process this, and then there will be a part of me who would give anything for my Oura ring to classify my night as a good nap.
That is the thing about seasons. We tend to romanticize the past and complain about the present. We pretend we do things because we have to, not because we want to. And we focus on the parts we do not like instead of the parts we will romanticize when this present moment becomes the past.
So yes. I, too, get caught up in those thought errors sometimes.
I did this morning.
But I quickly snapped myself out of it.
One day I know I will re-read this love letter I am writing to you, and I will remember this as the good ole’ days also. God knows I have clearly already forgotten what was hard about the days when my kids were little.
In the meantime, this week’s podcast episode is out and I am announcing the theme I chose for this new month of May. You will have to listen to find out what the theme is, but I will give you a clue. It is inspiring me to reimagine new ways to charge my self battery while I am in the season of teenagers!
That is all I have got for you today. Now I have got to get my day started before the sun goes down!
Sending you lots of love,
P.S. If you, too, want to do the practice of catching yourself in the season you are actually in, of being present for what is happening right now instead of mourning what was or longing for what is next, that is the work we do inside The Well. The first 10 women who join get a free upgrade to The Well VIP, which includes four private 1:1 calls with me throughout the year. The spots are filling and the bonus closes the moment the 10th woman joins. Click here to learn more.