To tell or not to tell

Happy Sacred Sunday!

I’m writing this to you on Saturday night instead of Sunday morning because Sunday morning I’ll be walking with my friend, Bruce.

I’m at NSA this weekend. National Speakers Association. Today we had a fellow speaker and friend, Ross, deliver a keynote on the main stage about 5 things he’s learned about the speaking business since he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

He got up there and delivered a heartwarming talk, sharing his behind the scenes of being a speaker while fighting cancer and going through chemotherapy.

When he was diagnosed, exactly one year ago this weekend, he immediately thought his business was over. Meeting planners don’t want a risk when planning an event, and a speaker with cancer is definitely a risk.

But in spite of this possibility, he was honest about it. He told everyone, kept showing up, and refused to let cancer define him.

He still managed to deliver 80 speeches this year, which is a ridiculous amount of traveling and working, FYI.

This was a stark contrast from my father’s approach to his cancer journey.

My dad, too, had the fear that a cancer diagnosis could cost him his career. Because of this, he chose to keep the diagnosis private until he was near the end. Not a word to almost anyone, for years.

He, too, was resilient. He, too, never allowed cancer to define him. He, too, continued speaking, traveling, and living to the fullest. But unlike Ross, he didn’t have the community rallying for him in support and sending him love.

After Ross’ speech, someone asked me if his talk triggered me. It didn’t. But it did make me think about how incredible it is that two men, with similar circumstances, designed their life so differently during that time.

I wonder how I would design my life given these circumstances. I’m not sure, to be honest, because you never know how you’ll react unless you’ve walked in their shoes. I think I’d lean toward Ross’ approach, because I have witnessed the blessing of community and support during difficult times.

As we wrap up the month of Design July, I’m noticing how important it is to consider that your choices lead to a life design. That’s why it is important to choose intentionally.

Now I’d love to know. If you were in my dad or Ross’ shoes, which one would you choose?

To tell or not to tell.

Hit reply and let me know.

Sending you love today and always,