I wrote this in a post to my community this week. It was meant to be private — just for the intimate group of women who hold space for these kinds of conversations. But for days my heart has been calling me to share beyond the walls of my membership, as if it’s necessary for you to read it, too.
So here is my open letter to you. I hope it serves you in some way. If you feel it would serve someone else, please feel free to share it.
They say a picture tells a thousand words — so what does this picture tell you about me?
Maybe it tells you I’m super happy, or that I’m about to get on a Zoom call (because I’m in front of my shelves 😂). Maybe you think I’m excited about something or maybe it’s clear that I need to wash my hair 😳)
But none of this is the full story.
The full story is that I had been experiencing a lot of anxiety and sadness today. I’ve been feeling frustrated with myself (the life of an entrepreneur) and feeling ineffective. I also haven’t exercised in 3 days (which seems to be directly correlated to my happiness levels) plus my kid has been sick with fever.
All these emotions and it was only 10 am 😂.
The point is, I was getting nowhere with my to-do list or anything and it’s just one of those days I feel like I’m just #failing.
So you know what I did? I stopped trying to be productive. I got back into bed and took a 20-minute nap next to my son. Then I got up, and I did have 2 zoom calls back to back, so I decided that my attitude couldn’t follow my mood today. My mood had to follow my attitude.
I jumped in the shower and freshened up and, although I didn’t have time to wash and blow-dry, I chose a “cute” bun. I put on makeup and wore different earrings and I opted for a bright happy top to add some color to my life. And then I showed up for my zoom calls to be fully present.
And you know what? I felt better. I shifted my energy as best I could with what I could at that moment.
During one of my zoom calls, the lady I was talking to commented that she was a mess (still in her PJs) and overwhelmed, etc, etc, and she alluded to how “put together” I was. And then I let her in on my little secret — that I put myself together because I felt like I was falling apart. We both felt better when the call ended. 😉
That conversation inspired me to write to you. So many of you beat yourselves up when you feel like you’re a hot mess, or when you feel you’re #failing. And you think you’re the only one. You can’t understand why you can’t seem to conquer these emotions. But I realize the problem isn’t that you can’t conquer the emotion, it’s that you think the problem is having the emotion in the first place.
That’s where we get stuck — in judging the experience.
Well, I just wanted you to know I’m on the same rollercoaster as you are and I understand you. Stop judging yourself for having the emotion and instead focus on what you can do to shift your energy right now with what you have. Because although you can’t always control how you feel, you certainly have control over what you do next.
Today I asked you, “what is one action you can take today in attracting the life you want?”
My action today in attracting the life I want was just putting my game face on — because today that was the best I could do.
And maybe you needed to hear that your best doesn’t have to be the best every day, and that’s okay, too.