What will your tombstone read when you die?

Happy Sacred Sunday!

We’ve started a tradition for our loved one’s birthdays, where we all gather around the table and each person shares what they love and/or admire most about that person.

As we took turns sharing special things about my husband on his 47th birthday, it hit me just how much he’s taught me about life.

So, on this Sacred Sunday, I want to share 3 principles I’ve learned from Orlando on creating a life that sparks bliss.

Get Clear on Your Priorities

Orlando once said to me, “When I die, I don’t want my tombstone to read: ‘The Greatest Lawyer to have ever lived;’ I want it to read, ‘The Greatest Husband and Father to have ever lived.’”

Ever since he was young, he knew he wanted a family. A lot of the choices he made even before we met (like going to law school instead of joining a traveling Shakespearean acting troupe) were for his future family.

Over the years, I’ve continued to see how he makes choices that match up with his crystal-clear priorities.

Take his career, for example. The way he set up his law firm, his pricing, and the kinds of cases he takes on, all support the lifestyle he wants. Orlando had chances to make more money and become more famous in his field — chances he turned down to keep his freedom to spend time with his family.

Despite those decisions, Orlando has done well for himself. Slowly but surely, he’s built up a solid reputation and created a thriving criminal defense practice — all on his own terms.

He taught me the best definition of success: if you wouldn’t trade your life with anyone else’s, you’re the most successful person in the world.

Strike While the Iron is Hot

When my firstborn was 4 years old, he fell in love with the songs from the Phantom of the Opera CD I played in the car. From the first time I played the soundtrack, Orly, despite being so little, had such a powerful reaction to it. Since then, he’d ask me to replay the songs every day.

That’s when Orlando had the idea to take our little guy to New York to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway.

I thought he was crazy. First, Orly was too little. Second, Justin was even smaller (he was only 2). Third, I was very pregnant with Ryan (30+ weeks). And most importantly, we had no money.

But none of these factors fazed my husband.

“Caro, we have to strike while the iron is hot. If we wait until Orly is a little older, by that time he may no longer care about Phantom of the Opera. You have to seize these moments while they still matter. These are the experiences that can affect your life forever.”

He was adamant — and, as usual — very convincing.

We reached out to my best friend who lives in Jersey. Not only did she get us great seats at a super discount because of her husband’s job, but she offered us her home and took care of Justin so we could take Orly into the city to see the show.

Turns out we didn’t need a lot of money or perfect circumstances to make this happen — and the experience did ultimately influence the trajectory of our son’s life. (10 years later, our son still dreams of pursuing his acting career)

Orlando has taught me to live with more urgency and do the things that matter most now because now is all we really have.

If You Don’t Like It, Change It

I often joke with Orlando that I initially married a Honda and somehow I upgraded to a Bentley.

The traits I loved about him when we got together were the foundation of something solid — he was kind, funny, educated, and family-oriented.

But Orlando also had something I didn’t realize until many years into our marriage.

The courage to change what no longer served him.

Over the years, Orlando changed his lifestyle, his habits, and his mindset.

When he realized he was stuck in his career, he did what was necessary to break free from his circumstances.

When he got ill, he did what was necessary to get well.

And when he got sick of being overweight and out of shape, he did what was necessary to step into a different identity.

Time and time again, he went for it. He took risks. He fell, and he picked himself back up again. He never stopped trying.

I have witnessed Orlando transform before my eyes. And not just physically. He even changed aspects of his personality, like going from one of the biggest procrastinators to one of the most proactive people I know.

He has taught me that if you don’t like something about your life, you have the power to change it.

For Christians, today is extra sacred because it’s the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This day serves as a reminder that we, too, have the power to rise.

I thought it was quite synchronistic that this holiday coincided with my beloved’s birthday this year, a man I’ve seen rise to become a better version of himself.

The day he dies, his tombstone will read just as he wanted.

So on this Sacred Sunday, I will leave you with these questions:

• What do you want your tombstone to read when you die?
• How can you strike while the iron is hot in your life?
• What don’t you like about your life that you want to change?
• Will you have the courage to do what is necessary based on the answers to those questions?

If you do, you will unlock a life that sparks bliss.  Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.