Happy Sacred Sunday!
Before we remodeled our house, we had a galley kitchen, That meant when you came in through the front door, the first thing you’d see was the wall that separated the kitchen from the common areas of the house. On that wall hung a large painting with a glass credenza underneath for decorations.
When talks about the remodel began, everyone suggested we knock down that wall to open up the kitchen area, insert a big island, and create a grand room.
But I didn’t want to do that.
I was afraid that if my kitchen was exposed, then the first thing anyone would see (including myself) when they walked into the house was the mess in the kitchen.
I enjoyed walking in to a home that looked like it was in order.
But my kitchen was never in order. There was always stuff laying around on the kitchen counter, dishes in the sink or on the drying rack, and something out of place.
I explained to my designer, Elika, that the wall created a space between the order and the chaos, so at least when we walked in, we experienced a peaceful and pleasant environment and didn’t witness the chaos until we turned the corner!
I thought I was being honest with myself, rather than becoming enamoured with something that was impossible to sustain. After all, the same family who lived in the house pre-remodel was going to live in the house post-remodel. An open floor plan was setting me up for failure.
The wall felt safer.
It gave me permission to be messy without having to “see” the mess from every angle of my house.
Elika listened to my well articulated arguments, nodding and smiling, but refusing to concede. “Your kitchen is a mess because it is not designed functionally and because you don’t have any systems in place. Trust me, Caro. When I create a space for you that has a home for every item, flows well, and is easy to maintain, keeping it clean is going to be easy.”
It is very difficult to imagine a different future with the mindset of your current reality.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
Your current life feels so real and your lifestyle, habits, and circumstances are so true, that anything different is like a fantasy reserved for other people.
Elike coached me into holding a vision for myself and my family different than the one that felt so true to me.
She inspired me to trust her, even though I didn’t really believe her.
So I agreed to knocking down the wall, hoping I wasn’t making a huge mistake.
That decision was the beginning of the domino effect that would completely transform my home, my life, and my identity.
When it was time to get ready for the remodel, I started something I had always wanted to do but never had the time, energy or discipline to:
I took on the Marie Kondo Decluttering marathon.
It took me a couple of months to complete that challenge, and it was one of the hardest, most tedious things I’ve done.
But the process helped me retrain my brain. Following the Kondo method permanently changed my relationship with material things.
Turns out by the time we moved back into our home we were NOT the same 5 fingers that had lived there previously.
Elika taught me maintenance systems to preserve the integrity of the spaces. She taught me how to think differently, which allowed me to create more supportive habits.
I’ll confess that the first few months back in the house, I proceeded with caution.
I questioned whether we’d revert back to our old ways. I feared getting too comfortable and slipping into bad habis. It reminded of when my husband first got healthy and lost a ton of weight, for the first couple of years he operated with a subtle fear that he was destined to be fat again. It’s like we’re imposters trying on someone else’s identity, and we’re unsure how long we can keep it up before our true colors come out.
This happens at the beginning of most transformation journeys, but little by little, this new reality starts to feel more real, authentic, and true … and one day you realize you’re not trying on this new identity anymore— you’ve become it.
Recently I was washing some dishes while my mom sat across from me in big, open, airy space.
“I am so impressed with how you’ve managed to upkeep this house,” she commented. “It’s like you guys are a different family!”
“We are,” I smiled, finally believing it.
On this Sacred Sunday’s podcast, I’m talking about upleveling, times of transition, and living with intention. I really hope it supports you as you get ready to jump into the summer months.
Just click here to blissten up ✨✨✨
