The rituals that keep me from drifting

Sending you this love note from the beautiful beaches of Marco Island today. My girlfriends and I go on an annual family beach vacation together every year. The location and length of time has changed, but the trip has survived for 13 years.

This trip got me thinking about the power of rituals, and how much I value anchoring into them.

My favorite part about this vacation is that my friend, Frances, and I get up every morning to exercise together. Some years we’ve run on the beach. Other years we’ve done workouts with friends. The last few years we’ve simply walked. Regardless, you’ll find us together in the early morning, moving our bodies before everyone else wakes up.

And then, depending on the trip, we stack on other little rituals each year. This year, after our walk, we meet the rest of our friends for a lovely (and incredibly long) breakfast at the hotel restaurant. At a certain time, I step out to go wake up my new morning friend, Ryan, so he can join us. Little by little, the other husbands and children trickle into the restaurant, and then the day has officially begun.

Even though the circumstances change, we establish a little rhythm the day we arrive and we keep that rhythm going for the rest of the trip.

This is how I establish routine when I’m out of my routine. And I’ve noticed I do it in other settings too.

The last few times my sister has been hospitalized, I’ve anchored into mini rituals around my visits. When she was in South Miami, I arrived every morning at 5:30 am, so I was always with her first thing in the morning. One day, the nurse came in a little earlier to draw blood and when my sister looked at the time it was around 5:26 am. She said to the nurse, “Oh, you’re going to meet my sister soon. I bet she’ll be here any minute.” A couple of minutes later I walked through the door. She smiled and said, “See, she’s like clockwork.”

I couldn’t carry the same schedule while she was at UM, but I found my rhythm there too.

We are walking paradoxes. We need certainty and uncertainty. Adventure and safety. Comfort and discomfort. We thrive when we have both the yin and the yang.

In the face of change, creating ritual is one of the most powerful things you can do for your wellbeing.

I didn’t realize I was doing this until I began practicing the art of noticing, naming, and nurturing an intentional life. This framework gives language to things that may otherwise go unnoticed. Things that are already working. Things that could add joy and harmony to your life even during stressful times.

Anchoring into rituals has stopped me from drifting in my wellness habits, added stability in disruptive times, and created core memories that make life a little more romantic in hindsight.

Now that you have a name for this practice, I invite you to notice: what rituals are you anchored into? And are they the ones you actually want?

Some will be carrying you. Some will be carrying you in a direction you didn’t choose. The work is to know the difference.

I gotta hop off so I can go back to the beach with my friends. But I couldn’t do that until I finished my ritual of sending you this love letter.

Sending you so much love, today and always.