What I learned from my son’s math homework
November 6, 2023
Happy Sacred Sunday!
My son has been struggling with math recently, so I sat down to do homework with him.
I assumed the struggle came from not understanding the material, but I was surprised to discover the underlying issue.
With deep frustration, he ran his fingers through his wavy hair. “Mom, I know the answer in my head, but my teacher makes me show my work. And it’s sooooo dumb! Look at this paper! I’ve written the same thing 5 times!”
If you remember solving for an algebraic equation in your school days, it’s a repetitive process to show your work.
I understood how tedious and annoying this work could be, but I tried to explain to him how showing his work was the only way the teacher could know that he knew what he was doing.
“She’s not a mind reader, buddy. She can’t know what’s in your head.”
“Okay, fine. But what about all these repetitive steps. Why can’t I skip those?”
“Well, because we learn by repetition.”
As I reasoned with my 12-year-old why it was necessary for him to “show his work” for math, it suddenly dawned on me that this principle carries into adulthood.
IT’S NOT MIND-READING DAY
My dear friend and therapist, Dr. Betsy Guerra, teaches couples about the power of communication. She encourages couples to ask for what they want from each other, rather than expecting or hoping their partner thinks of it on their own.
I can hear her raising her voice with her Latin accent and saying, “It’s not mind-reading day, people! You can’t expect him or her to know what’s going on in your head.”
Likewise, in sales and marketing we often assume people know things about our products and services without us spelling it out for them. I know, in my case, I often fear sharing too much because of fear of being repetitive or stating the obvious.
As I sat there watching my boy struggle to translate what was in his head to paper, I identified with him.
Sometimes we struggle to show our work because we’re trying to explain something that comes so naturally for us — and that can be really hard to translate to paper.
Sometimes we struggle to show our work because we confuse it with bragging or showing off.
And sometimes we struggle to show our work because we don’t think it’s good enough.
MOMENT OF CLARITY
How would you act in your business and life if you communicated with this clarity?
1. No one knows what’s going on in your head, unless you show your work.
2. People learn through repetition.
These two lessons hit me hard, personally.
Who knew that 7th grade math would have such a profound impact on a 43-year-old!!! Hopefully it’ll spark something important for you, too.
Reminds me of the message I got when I wrote, Looking Over the Edge: Pay attention. There are lessons for you here. ☺️☺️☺️
Hope you’re enjoying Nourish November ❤️
