Relationships

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Relationships  ·  Success Skills
The walls that keep us comfortable

“Life is about los momenticos.” – Asis Lopez

Happy Sacred Sunday!

Every once in a while, you meet someone who leaves an indelible impression on your life.
 
Asis is one of those people. Because Orlando’s cousin, Stephanie, was dating Asis’ son, he invited us to the Keys for a weekend so the two families could meet.
 
One evening before dinner, Asis made a toast to welcome Stephanie and my family to theirs. He talked about how happy he was to be celebrating this momentico (little moment) with us.
 
“Life is all about los momenticos,” he’d say. Asis lived to create and enjoy special little moments with his family and friends. He understood that those were the moments that built a beautiful life, and he was wise enough to realize how easy it was to miss those momenticos if you’re not mindful of them.
 
I didn’t have the time to get to know Asis very well — he passed away shortly after we met — but I can say that I’ll always remember him, and I am deeply grateful I had the opportunity to know him at all.
 
His appreciation for life, family, and los momenticos became a lasting legacy that lives on in all of our hearts.
 
All these years later, I have noticed that often these momenticos become the sparks of bliss that make life more meaningful, magical, and full of synchronicities.

On this Sacred Sunday’s podcast episode, we’re talking about the definition of bliss, the power and paradox of defining things, and the importance of embracing those momenticos as we go through this human journey.
 
I hope Asis is blisstening, wherever he is.

Click here to blissten up ✨✨✨

June 2, 2024

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Parents & Families  ·  Relationships  ·  Success Skills
What will your tombstone read when you die?

Happy Sacred Sunday!

We’ve started a tradition for our loved one’s birthdays, where we all gather around the table and each person shares what they love and/or admire most about that person.

As we took turns sharing special things about my husband on his 47th birthday, it hit me just how much he’s taught me about life.

So, on this Sacred Sunday, I want to share 3 principles I’ve learned from Orlando on creating a life that sparks bliss.

Get Clear on Your Priorities

Orlando once said to me, “When I die, I don’t want my tombstone to read: ‘The Greatest Lawyer to have ever lived;’ I want it to read, ‘The Greatest Husband and Father to have ever lived.’”

Ever since he was young, he knew he wanted a family. A lot of the choices he made even before we met (like going to law school instead of joining a traveling Shakespearean acting troupe) were for his future family.

Over the years, I’ve continued to see how he makes choices that match up with his crystal-clear priorities.

Take his career, for example. The way he set up his law firm, his pricing, and the kinds of cases he takes on, all support the lifestyle he wants. Orlando had chances to make more money and become more famous in his field — chances he turned down to keep his freedom to spend time with his family.

Despite those decisions, Orlando has done well for himself. Slowly but surely, he’s built up a solid reputation and created a thriving criminal defense practice — all on his own terms.

He taught me the best definition of success: if you wouldn’t trade your life with anyone else’s, you’re the most successful person in the world.

Strike While the Iron is Hot

When my firstborn was 4 years old, he fell in love with the songs from the Phantom of the Opera CD I played in the car. From the first time I played the soundtrack, Orly, despite being so little, had such a powerful reaction to it. Since then, he’d ask me to replay the songs every day.

That’s when Orlando had the idea to take our little guy to New York to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway.

I thought he was crazy. First, Orly was too little. Second, Justin was even smaller (he was only 2). Third, I was very pregnant with Ryan (30+ weeks). And most importantly, we had no money.

But none of these factors fazed my husband.

“Caro, we have to strike while the iron is hot. If we wait until Orly is a little older, by that time he may no longer care about Phantom of the Opera. You have to seize these moments while they still matter. These are the experiences that can affect your life forever.”

He was adamant — and, as usual — very convincing.

We reached out to my best friend who lives in Jersey. Not only did she get us great seats at a super discount because of her husband’s job, but she offered us her home and took care of Justin so we could take Orly into the city to see the show.

Turns out we didn’t need a lot of money or perfect circumstances to make this happen — and the experience did ultimately influence the trajectory of our son’s life. (10 years later, our son still dreams of pursuing his acting career)

Orlando has taught me to live with more urgency and do the things that matter most now because now is all we really have.

If You Don’t Like It, Change It

I often joke with Orlando that I initially married a Honda and somehow I upgraded to a Bentley.

The traits I loved about him when we got together were the foundation of something solid — he was kind, funny, educated, and family-oriented.

But Orlando also had something I didn’t realize until many years into our marriage.

The courage to change what no longer served him.

Over the years, Orlando changed his lifestyle, his habits, and his mindset.

When he realized he was stuck in his career, he did what was necessary to break free from his circumstances.

When he got ill, he did what was necessary to get well.

And when he got sick of being overweight and out of shape, he did what was necessary to step into a different identity.

Time and time again, he went for it. He took risks. He fell, and he picked himself back up again. He never stopped trying.

I have witnessed Orlando transform before my eyes. And not just physically. He even changed aspects of his personality, like going from one of the biggest procrastinators to one of the most proactive people I know.

He has taught me that if you don’t like something about your life, you have the power to change it.

For Christians, today is extra sacred because it’s the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This day serves as a reminder that we, too, have the power to rise.

I thought it was quite synchronistic that this holiday coincided with my beloved’s birthday this year, a man I’ve seen rise to become a better version of himself.

The day he dies, his tombstone will read just as he wanted.

So on this Sacred Sunday, I will leave you with these questions:

  • What do you want your tombstone to read when you die?
  • How can you strike while the iron is hot in your life?
  • What don’t you like about your life that you want to change?
  • Will you have the courage to do what is necessary based on the answers to those questions?

If you do, you will unlock a life that sparks bliss.  Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

 

 

 

April 1, 2024

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Parents & Families  ·  Relationships  ·  Success Skills
This Investment has had a great ROI

Two days before my wedding, my father made the last hefty payment for the reception venue. A frugal man, I don’t think he’d ever spent as much money on anything as he did on that one event. He tore the check out from the checkbook, looked at me with his big blue eyes and said,

“Listen to me, I need at least 5 good years on this investment!”

He was only half-joking.

My parents combined have been through 9 divorces. Yes, that many. Given the history, you could probably appreciate the low expectations my dad had for my upcoming nuptials.

Every year after Orlando and I celebrated our 5th anniversary, I’d call my dad and congratulate him on his investment. I’d remind him that he was now receiving interest in the form of grandchildren. Each year he’d laugh and tell me how amazed and pleased he was with the family we’d built together.

But we also struggled through some very difficult years. Years where I wasn’t sure if we’d make it. There are times when the best result for two people is to divorce, and that often takes as much courage as staying together. In our case, we pulled through the tough times and our marriage is stronger than ever. In the process, we’ve learned so much.

A good marriage can feel like a long-term investment in the stock market. There are periods with big gains and periods with big losses, but in the long run, the return nets positive.

17 Moments of Clarity

Orlando and I drove to Naples for a romantic weekend getaway to celebrate the big 17.

I wish I could have called my dad to congratulate him once again for his investment. I wish he was here to see how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown, and how much we love each other and our little Five Finger family. (I like to believe he already knows.)

What I did instead was take advantage of the time I had my husband trapped in the car to force him into pinpointing moments of clarity we’ve learned from our marriage so far. (Bonus tip: timing and sequestration helps you get what you want 😂)

Every day for the next 17 days, I’ll send you one nugget/lesson/tip we came up with. If you want to receive these tips straight to your inbox, click here to make sure you don’t miss them!

Life isn’t perfect; Relationships aren’t perfect; And we’re only 17 years in, so God knows how much we have to learn … But here we are, sharing what we do know for now, hoping it inspires you to find the sparks of bliss in your relationship.

February 13, 2024

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Relationships
Mysteries that become Blessings

Happy Monday!

Okay, so let me tell you what happened this weekend.

Every year, the families of my son’s class from school get together for a “glamping” trip to Westgate River Ranch. I didn’t think I was going this year until I was having a conversation with the group leader and she told me I had reserved a tent.

I challenged her because I did not remember booking, but she was adamant that I was on the list.

Feeling uneasy about this, and having no email confirmation or proof in my records that I had paid a deposit, I called Westgate myself to confirm.

“There’s no tent reserved for a Rodriguez, ma’am,” the representative at Guest Services told me. “But I see a De Posada-Rodriguez reservation.”

“That’s me! But I don’t have any email confirmation or anything from Westgate,” I said, still confused.

“Well, you may not have received an email, but you are reserved and your confirmation number is 173593.”

Having had confirmed with our group leader and the resort, I realized I must have reserved at some point. Even though we had previously decided we weren’t going this year, I took this as a sign that I should go, and we rearranged our plans.

THE PLOT THICKENS

Upon arrival at Westgate, I check-in at the reservation desk with my ID and my confirmation number.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this reservation number has a completely different name.” The confirmation number was generating another family from our group.

I pulled up my note with the date I called, the time, and the person I spoke to who gave me my confirmation number. “This was the information Westgate gave me.” I showed the front desk attendant.

Thinking maybe this was a mixup from a prior year, I texted the family that appeared on our reservation to confirm it wasn’t their reservation — but it was — and they were on their way.

Two families had the same confirmation number, but there was only one tent available. Someone would have to be displaced and put at the hotel.

Because I was the first to arrive, they gave me the tent. But as I inquired further, I learned that the other mom had put a deposit months prior. I could not, in good faith, take her tent from her when I wasn’t sure I had paid a deposit. I went back to the front desk and asked them to put me at the hotel.

WHERE MYSTERY MEETS THE BLESSING

This story has no explanation.

How did my name end up on any of the lists if I didn’t reserve?

Why was my name on the Westgate reservation the week before and not the day of?

We couldn’t figure any of it out.

Here’s the thing: I was on the fence about going this weekend. Had I called and been told I did not have a reservation, I simply would not have gone.

I would never have booked the hotel. The only option I liked was the glamping tents with the rest of the group.

But here we were. I already had gone through the ordeal of packing, renting a truck to take our bikes, and driven the 3 hour trek to get there.  The hotel was now the only option, attractive or not. So I took it.

The confusion came with some perks.

We got the room next to our best friends, which was so fun.

We got a free golf cart.

I got a free bike, which was a lifesaver because one of our bikes had a flat tire!

But the real blessing was that the mixup got us there.

I tried line dancing for the first time and had a blast; We spent time with our friends; And my kids enjoyed the hotel just as much, maybe even more than the glamping tent.

It was a meaningful and memorable weekend with two of my fingers!

MOMENTS OF CLARITY

Today I want to share a few takeaways I got from this experience.

  • When you behave as if life is rigged in your favor, things work out that way — even when the outcome is not what you expected.
  • Life is full of mysteries which become blessings if you choose to perceive them that way.
  • Surrender the outcome, knowing that you are working with limited information and the Universe will always surprise you.
  • Lastly, rather than halfheartedly declaring “everything happens for a reason,” be the person who gives meaningful reason to all that happens. The difference may seem subtle, but the latter requires intentionality and focus.

I hope this message inspires you to live in a way that allows you to find the sparks of bliss everywhere. ✨✨✨

January 23, 2024

Holidays  ·  Relationships
Can we get a do-over?

Happy Sacred Sunday!

It’s hard to believe I am writing to you an entire week into 2024. The last 7 days have been a blur.

December felt momentous and energetic as we got ready to close out the year. The Different December theme I chose inspired a playful, carefree approach to the month that was contagious. My family was excited about our upcoming travels and welcoming the new year with “umph.”

Newton’s first law of motion states that an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

Have you ever felt like your life is in motion with a certain speed and direction and suddenly an unbalanced force interrupts it?

Sometimes you can identify the force, but sometimes the force is invisible.

In our case, the unbalanced force appears to have been the flu. Cold symptoms, headaches, fevers, and vomiting overtook our five fingers and each family member fell one by one like lined-up dominoes.

December haphazardly rolled into January and the days passed one by one with no regard to our circumstances. Even though each of us got sick (and recovered) at different times throughout the week, the illnesses, coupled with a lack of routine, kept us cocooned in a gloomy vortex of yuckiness.

Ryan Holiday often refers to life as alive time versus dead time. I did my best to avoid dead time despite the situation. I took down Christmas decorations, did laundry, put away all the winter clothes, and restored the house back to simplicity. I also made home-made chicken soup, went for walks, and started a puzzle.

But despite the efforts, the collective energy of our family felt more like dead time than alive time.

By yesterday, we just had to get out of the house. I forced myself to the gym in the morning, which my brain tried endlessly to talk me out of. Then we took the boys to get haircuts and headed to an outdoor shopping area we love called The Falls. As we roamed around aimlessly, we talked about what a confusing, weird, and sad week it had been.

The premise was that the start of the new year was a fail.

And then it hit me.

We were experiencing exactly what I wrote about last week. You’re in the sprinter’s position, the gun goes off, but you miss the race. The year feels like an epic fail before it even began.

That is not at all how I want to approach my year. or my life.

CAN WE HAVE A DO-OVER?

I looked over at my husband and made a suggestion; “What if we make today New Year’s Eve? What if we start 2024 over again?”

Everyone loved the idea.

The thing about do-overs is that you can’t reverse the clock and get the time back. The days will pass whether you’re sick or well, intentional or mindless, on vacation or working.

But the do-over is the symbolic representation of choosing to become the force that changes the speed and direction of your life.  It’s the decision to take control of that which is within your control.  And it’s the letting go of the things that are not serving you well or keeping you stuck.

If you are the author of your life and you write your own story, then you can decide to start a new chapter anytime.

Last night we made a lovely dinner, bought 2024 balloons and Happy New Year party hats. We fought to stay awake until midnight even though we were falling asleep by 10:30pm, and we toasted to a new year with sparkling cider and a lot of love.

There were no fireworks or big party.

Just a family of five deciding that January 6th was the perfect night to reclaim their alive time.

And that is the beauty of life — so long as you’re alive — any day is a great day for new beginnings.

So whether your new year kicked off with a bang last week or you inadvertently slipped into it like we did, on this Sacred Sunday I offer to you this New Year’s wish:

May this year be momentous, inspirational, and full of alive time and may you never be afraid to start over when you need to.

January 8, 2024

Holidays  ·  Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Relationships  ·  Wellness
This won’t last forever
I didn’t get a chance to send you a Sacred Sunday email this weekend as I spent all my awake time wrapping gifts, packing for our upcoming winter trip, and checking off the to-do list my husband that became my husband’s Christmas gift.
But alas, here I am, on a Sacred Tuesday, to share a moment of clarity I had over the holiday.It was Christmas Eve, or as my Cuban family says, Noche Buena, and we were all gathered at my cousin’s house where we go most years.

I felt like there was a joyful energy circulating this year. A few hours prior, we’d been home getting dressed when my husband walked into my bedroom and commented, “Everyone is so happy this year.” I thought maybe it was just our five fingers, but I felt it at Jackie’s house as well. The whole family seemed genuinely happy to be together.

As I sat chatting, my son, Justin, approached me from behind, wrapping his arms around my neck. He whispered in my ear, “Mommy, another Christmas that you’re healthy. Happy healthversary.” He gave me a huge kiss on my check and squeezed me a little tighter.

At first, I didn’t understand what he was talking about. “Why wouldn’t I be healthy, Justy?”

“Mom, remember the year you got so sick on Christmas Eve with pneumonia and ended up in the hospital? We’re so lucky nothing bad happened.”
Of course.
The year I got pneumonia.

We were supposed to go to Jackie’s house that year also, but I was so sick I couldn’t go. By the next day, I had become septic and was being rushed to the ICU by ambulance.

That was a hard Christmas. And there have been many other hard ones as well.

And yet, here we were fully present and enjoying a happy, harmonious, and healthy evening.

Therein lies the moment of clarity:

THAT EVERY MOMENT WILL PASS

The good moments and the bad ones; they are all temporary.

So if you’re in a tough season, hang in there — you will get through this. This moment won’t last forever.

If you’re in a joyful season, acknowledge it, savor it, and be grateful for it. This moment won’t last forever.
But remember, there is beauty in all of it. There are lessons, love, and blessings that bloom even in the toughest times.

The hard seasons make us stronger.

The happy seasons make it all matter.

As for me, I’m counting all my blessings this year and savoring every moment. And thanks to Justin, I’m remembering that another year of health is something we should never take for granted.

December 27, 2023

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Relationships
A different way to grieve

Happy Sacred Sunday!

If you’ve been around a while, you may have read about my dear friends, Alain and Betsy.Their daughter, Fofi, passed away in 2013, leaving our community heart-broken. And yet their strength and perseverance has been a source of inspiration to so many ever since.

Today is Fofi’s birthday and I have been thinking about her (and her parents) all day. As I focus on my theme “Different December,” I’m thinking how Alain and Betsy have chosen a different way to honor their daughter.

A DIFFERENT WAY TO HONOR THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED ON

Betsy teaches that you get to honor a loved one who has died through service, purpose, and joy rather than through suffering.

It doesn’t mean losing them hurts any less.

But the choice to go from hurt to hope can make all the difference in this life.

Yesterday, Betsy and I went for a walk and coincidentally each of us wore the shirt that represented the marathon we ran in honor of our loved ones who have passed.

First, we ran for Fofi.

Then, we ran for my dad.

Now, we walk for each other.

And we get to bring Fofi and my dad along in our hearts.

Whether you are grieving a loved one who has passed, or something in your life you have lost (divorce, loss of a job, financial struggle, etc), today I encourage you to read Betsy’s book, Hurt to Hope.

I invite you to choose a DIFFERENT way to grieve. It will not be easy— in fact, it’ll be painful either way.

But this choice will give your heart the chance to unlock sparks of bliss once again in your life. One day.

December 4, 2023

Holidays  ·  Relationships
The most important thing to nourish your relationships

Happy Sacred Sunday!

As we get ready for the Thanksgiving holiday, I’ve been thinking a lot about the value of time.

Last year, my husband’s cousins bought a house in Orlando and invited the entire family to spend Thanksgiving there. Although it was a huge house, there were more family members than rooms, so Orlando and I rented a house nearby for our parents, grandparents, and us.

That weekend was filled with nothing but time.

Time to cook and clean up afterward.

Time to sit and chat with nothing else to do.

Time for Orlando, Orlando’s grandparents, and Justin to spend a whole day watching a TV series in the movie room of our Airbnb. (Justin sat through the entire series in Spanish just to share that experience with his great grandparents.)

Time for me and my other two boys to take my mother, stepdad and mother-in-law to visit Epcot and eat at the Space 220 restaurant.

At the end of last year’s trip, my oldest son commented, “I never knew Papi was so funny.” Papi is his great-grandpa.

Being all together in one house for a few days created the opportunity for TIME to work its magic.

TIME AND LOVE

Growing up, I always heard my mother say, “El roce hace el amor.” Loosely, this translates to “friction/touch creates love.”

What it really means is when you spend time with people, you create the opportunity for love to blossom.

We often think we need to force magical moments, but time can spark magic all on its own.

Like when my dad was sick and I spent so much time with him in doctor’s offices and hospitals.

Even though the locations and the circumstances were less than desirable, that time together offered us moments of laughter, deep conversations, and precious memories that I have held onto long after my father passed.

NOURISH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Since our November this is NOURISH, I want to offer you the thought that the most important way to nourish your relationships is to give them plain, ole’ TIME.

This holiday season, rather than getting overwhelmed by the to-do’s, the prep work and clean up, and all the other common stresses — use this season as a container to spend time with the people you love.

Wishing you a Thanksgiving holiday filled with soul-full time and sparks of bliss.

November 21, 2023

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Parents & Families
What I learned from my son’s math homework

Happy Sacred Sunday!

My son has been struggling with math recently, so I sat down to do homework with him.

I assumed the struggle came from not understanding the material, but I was surprised to discover the underlying issue.

With deep frustration, he ran his fingers through his wavy hair. “Mom, I know the answer in my head, but my teacher makes me show my work. And it’s sooooo dumb! Look at this paper! I’ve written the same thing 5 times!”

If you remember solving for an algebraic equation in your school days, it’s a repetitive process to show your work.

I understood how tedious and annoying this work could be, but I tried to explain to him how showing his work was the only way the teacher could know that he knew what he was doing.

“She’s not a mind reader, buddy. She can’t know what’s in your head.”

“Okay, fine. But what about all these repetitive steps. Why can’t I skip those?”

“Well, because we learn by repetition.”

As I reasoned with my 12-year-old why it was necessary for him to “show his work” for math, it suddenly dawned on me that this principle carries into adulthood.

IT’S NOT MIND-READING DAY

My dear friend and therapist, Dr. Betsy Guerra, teaches couples about the power of communication. She encourages couples to ask for what they want from each other, rather than expecting or hoping their partner thinks of it on their own.

I can hear her raising her voice with her Latin accent and saying, “It’s not mind-reading day, people! You can’t expect him or her to know what’s going on in your head.”

Likewise, in sales and marketing we often assume people know things about our products and services without us spelling it out for them. I know, in my case, I often fear sharing too much because of fear of being repetitive or stating the obvious.

As I sat there watching my boy struggle to translate what was in his head to paper, I identified with him.

Sometimes we struggle to show our work because we’re trying to explain something that comes so naturally for us — and that can be really hard to translate to paper.

Sometimes we struggle to show our work because we confuse it with bragging or showing off.

And sometimes we struggle to show our work because we don’t think it’s good enough.

MOMENT OF CLARITY

How would you act in your business and life if you communicated with this clarity?

1. No one knows what’s going on in your head, unless you show your work.
2. People learn through repetition.

These two lessons hit me hard, personally.

Who knew that 7th grade math would have such a profound impact on a 43-year-old!!! Hopefully it’ll spark something important for you, too.

Reminds me of the message I got when I wrote, Looking Over the Edge: Pay attention. There are lessons for you here. ☺️☺️☺️

Hope you’re enjoying Nourish November ❤️

November 6, 2023

Holidays  ·  Wellness
Welcome to November

Welcome to November!

November has become my favorite month of the year, which I think is a sign of getting older 😂.

It used to be December because of Christmas and my birthday — but once adulthood took over, the stress, traffic, and endless to dos that come with Christmas time made the month way less attractive.

But November is different.

November is a cozy month where we can focus on gratitude, fall-scented candles, and a change in weather.

If you’ve been around a while, then you know I love to live my life in themes.

The theme for this month: NOURISH NOVEMBER

If you were to nourish your mind, body and soul and this November, what would you focus on? What would you let go of? How would you spend the next 30 days?

Here are 6 ideas to start making choices that align with nourishment:

  • Eat wholesome foods that nourish your body, inspire mental clarity, and fill you with energy.
  • Add movements/exercises that strengthen your body, clear your mind, and uplift your mood.
  • Spend some time with people who make you laugh, think, and inspire you in different ways.
  • Keep a daily gratitude journal for the entire month and look for 3 new things you are grateful for each day. (no repeats)
  • Read 23 pages or for 23 minutes (audio books count) of inspiring, nourishing content.
  • Go on a mindful nature walk/hike wherever you are and “find fall.” Look for fall-colored leaves, trees that are losing their branches, and notice the smells in the air.

I hope this inspires you to have a full-filling and joyful November. It may even spark some moments of bliss ✨✨✨By the way, one of the things I’m doing this November is hosting a REJUVALIFE NOURISH course with Dr. Sanchez. This course is part of our RejuvaLIFE Model (Nourish, Reset, Indulge) and will focus on a 5-pillar framework (Nutrition, Mindset, Movement & Sleep, Community, and Integration).

We’ll meet every Monday at 6:30pm from November 6th to December 4th. We’re only offering this to the people inside our community and because it is in beta mode, we are discounting the price tremendously! Click here to register for it and gain lifetime access to the entire course.

Use the discount code: REJUVANATOR

Cheers to a nourishing November.

November 1, 2023

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