When your Wish Turns to Want

For the last few years, everyone who knows me well and frequents my home has urged me to remodel my kitchen. 8 ½ years ago, we moved into a home that was livable and in great condition, although it hadn’t been renovated. Orlando and I were content living in the space as it was and not spending money just to make it more aesthetically pleasing.

But things have changed.

The kitchen is no longer just a little outdated. Most of the appliances stopped working. Cabinets are breaking down here and there. It’s like the kitchen went on strike to force us into upgrading the space.

We often entertained the idea of doing quick fixes here and there, but they used cast-iron pipes for our plumbing system. Every discussion involving an upgrade to the kitchen ended abruptly when we got to the part of “if we do that, then we have to replace the cast-iron pipes.”

WISHING vs. WANTING

My husband always says there’s a huge difference between wishing for something and wanting it.

We both wished we could have a nice remodeled home with a beautiful kitchen. But we didn’t want it bad enough to have to:

• Move out of our home
• Start a construction project
• Spend so much money
• Disrupt our comfortable lives

The process seemed so daunting and overwhelming that it was easier to procrastinate. We found workarounds like using our portable griddle to cook almost everything and constantly buying ice bags to compensate for our broken ice machine.

We all complained about how annoying it all was — but that kind of discomfort seemed way easier than the overhaul we were up against.

CREATING A VISION 

One Sunday afternoon in April two years ago, I created my vision board. My friends urged me to paste images of a beautiful kitchen on the board.

“You need to do this, Caro!” they said as they staged an intervention. “Maybe if you see it on your board, you’ll finally get inspired to get it done.”

I obeyed. Every time I looked at the board, it reminded me the time was coming for me to conquer this challenge. But I wasn’t quite ready yet.

The following April I went through the vision board process again. Rather than creating a new board, I added to my current board knowing that I wasn’t ready to move on to a new vision yet.

 

WHEN THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU CLARITY 

The C in CORE stands for Clarity. When you’re trying to achieve a goal, it is essential to know why you wish to achieve that goal, what your definition of success is, and why this goal matters to you.

 Even though some things may seem obvious to everyone around you, your judgment is clouded by fear, excuses, and not wanting it bad enough. That’s where we were at with the state of our home.

That’s when the Universe offered us two back-to-back events that cleared things up.

THE FOR SALE SIGN 

I was driving down a street I drive by daily on the way to my house and noticed a for sale sign. There was a house for sale in a cul-de-sac my husband has always loved.

I immediately drove in to see which of the houses was for sale. It wasn’t the house Orlando liked the most, but it was in the pocket neighborhood that always caught his attention. I called to find out what the asking price was.

The price sounded outrageous, but my next thought was, “what if we can make it happen?”

Over the next few days, I began crunching numbers to see what we could get for our house, how much we’d have to put as a down payment, and what the monthly mortgage and tax payments would be.

The house was move-in ready. Upgrading to a nicer and bigger house without remodeling was attractive.

But the more we considered it, the more we came to the same realization. We could afford the house, but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

Orlando and I value financial freedom. We love traveling and experiences way more than fancy things. And we like our house a lot!

During family dinner, we were discussing the options with our kids when my oldest said, “Why would you spend all that money to move to another house when we love our house? Wouldn’t it make more sense just to invest a fraction of that money and fix what needs to be fixed here?”

That made perfect sense, and it was exactly what we needed to hear.

For a moment, I had thought that the house for sale in a neighborhood my husband had always loved might be a sign that it was time to expand into a bigger space. But what the for sale sign really did was give us an opportunity to reframe the negative outlook we had on remodeling and embrace the hassle and the expense with newfound clarity.

AN AUTHENTIC HOME

For years, my RejuvaFAST partner, Dr. Sanchez, had raved about his brother’s parties. “He always has amazing food and wine and everyone has the best time. Oh, and he has a wood-fired oven and we make homemade pizzas with the highest quality ingredients. One day you have to come.”

Finally, the day came that Orlando and I got to go to this famous pizza party.

The experience was beyond what I could have imagined.

The first thing we saw as we entered through the front door was a large, open living area with blue and purple-colored lighting, and a mix of concrete and wood walls and ceilings. Carrots and radishes with a delicious hummus served as delicious appetizers.

The kitchen carried a restaurant vibe with exposed cabinets, top of the line appliances, and a vast mess of ingredients and gadgets for a true culinary chef. It led to the backyard wooden deck where the wood-fired oven stood. Teddy, the owner of the home, greeted us holding a large pizza peel, and carefully flipping the home-made dough.

 

The rest of the yard felt like an enchanted forest, each section revealing new and fun surprises including a home-made ping-pong table, a sauna, cold plunge tub, and a non-chlorine pool that has its own ecosystem, live algae, and little fish at the bottom. Tiny string lights, wonderful music, and interesting people chatting and laughing created the perfect atmosphere for this majestic, albeit messy, home.

This was an organic, unique, and authentic expression of the way this family lives, and what they value.

As we drove home that evening, Orlando and I talked about how much we wanted our home to be an accurate representation of who we are and what we value. The problem is that the space had stopped representing us because with everything breaking down, we could no longer enjoy it like we used to.

Attending that party just days after our encounter with that very expensive house felt like a dose of synchronicity.

It occurred to me that the only way to have an authentic home is to create it. You create it by investing in the things you value, adjusting the space to fit your needs, and filling the house with the people and atmosphere you most desire.

It turns out I don’t want a “turnkey” home I can move into. I want to create a home that represents our family, values, and priorities.

That is all the expansion we want right now.

What comes after the Moment of Clarity 

We now get to approach our home remodel project with a fresh perspective. We have begun Organizing our lives around this goal, and are tapping into our Resilience and Emotional Intelligence to stay grounded and centered amongst the chaos that this will inevitably cause.

When your wish turns to want, the want is more powerful than the hassle it takes to get it.

Once we had true clarity, everything started to align and flow naturally, which I’ve noticed is a common theme of living with a CORE mindset.

So, are you ready to go on this journey with us? I’m going to do my best to keep you posted about the magic and the lessons that unfold along the way.