Back to school

Intentional Living  ·  Mindful Living  ·  Mindful Parenting
What do you really want?

Happy Sacred Sunday!

Tonight was supposed to be the night I celebrated School Year’s Eve with my three boys. That’s because I thought my oldest son was leaving on his weeklong trip with his school on Monday. I realized yesterday morning that he was actually leaving on Sunday night, which meant we had to rearrange our plans and celebrate last night (Saturday).

The experience was a little different from what we are used to. One change was that for the first time we went out to dinner instead of having dinner at home.
But the other change was the decision to skip the grapes, sparkling cider cheer, and countdown. (Scroll to the top to see our picture.)

Why? Because it felt anticlimactic to do this part of the tradition on a Saturday when one kid wasn’t starting school until Wednesday, the other Thursday, and the last one next Monday.

Orlando suggested, and the boys agreed, to set intentions together at dinner as we’ve always done but do the school year’s eve countdown separately with each kid the night before their first day of school.

This reminded me of what I spoke about in Episode 65 about the way an anchor works.

When you drop an anchor into the water, you prevent your boat from drifting away, but it still has room to move with the current.

A part of me felt sad yesterday that School Year’s Eve wasn’t exactly the way we’ve always done it.

It was a preview of the reality that as these boys become men, life will look different. Our close-knit 5 finger family will evolve, and our traditions will have to adapt.

But it was also an opportunity to witness the power of the anchor.

As we sat at dinner and read through the boys’ intentions from previous years… as they discussed what worked and didn’t work, celebrated successes, and shared what they learned in the process… as I watched them write this year’s intentions with conviction, clarity, and desire… I noticed how ingrained this practice has become and how seriously they take it.

It occurred to me that THIS is the anchor.

That’s what all the bells and whistles were for … to encourage them to enjoy creating a life of intention.

Circumstances will always change, but principles are what we want to remain anchored to.

And that leads me to the principle I shared in today’s podcast episode.

The difference between wanting and wishing.

Last night a little thought crept into my mind: I wish my kids were still little.
But even though sometimes I wish they could be little again, that’s not actually what I want.

Because what I want is for my kids to grow into the highest and best versions of themselves. I want to witness every step of their journey. i want to grow with them and enjoy many adventures with them. I want to remember the good old days with nostalgia, knowing that the present is a temporary gift, and the best is yet to come.

Wishes are often the way our minds play tricks on us.

I walked into Orly’s room and saw the big blue suitcase on the floor, nicely organized and packed. I held his handwritten intentions in a ziplock bag. And I took a moment to breathe in deep gratitude for this moment, knowing that in just a couple of years we’ll be toasting his leaving for college.

I released my wishes and focused on the truth that what I really want is exactly what I have.

This moment.

Right here.

Right now.

That is what I’m anchored to right now.

What about you?

Bliss’n Up Podcast

P.S. If this message made you think of someone, would you forward it to them? A simple “this made me think of you” could be exactly the encouragement they need today.

August 10, 2025

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Parents & Families  ·  Productivity  ·  Success Skills
The Power of Labels and Rituals

Happy Sacred Sunday,

Notice what I just did there?

I labeled Sunday as “Sacred.”

Do you know why I did that?

Because words are powerful. They penetrate your subconscious and affect how you show up in the world. Making Sundays “Sacred” reminds me to start Sunday mornings with rituals I consider sacred – exercise, journaling, reflection, and reading.

As my kids get ready to go back to school, I am thinking about the power of using labels and rituals to live life with more intentionality, focus, and meaning. 

Parents and grandparents: read below for a tradition to add to your family’s life! (If you’re in a rush, I’ll give you a hint. It’s #3 in this article 😉)

But before I get to that, I have to clear the air with labels because they get a bad rap. 

The Problem with Labeling

Many experts aren’t fans of labels because they can have negative consequences. For instance, if we label children as ADD or ADHD kids from a very young age or constantly call them problematic, lazy, or inattentive, they start to internalize those identities and carry them into adulthood.. Adults attach labels to themselves based on assessments and diagnoses..

That’s why great therapists and coaches caution us against assuming labels as truths that limit and condition us negatively.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t label things. It just means we have to be mindful and intentional of the vocabulary we use.

The Power of Labels and Rituals

Labels are powerful because they help our complicated brains simplify, categorize, and make sense of things. Naming something is a simple way to tell your subconscious to treat this thing in a specific way. It’s a brain activator, and when used in a supportive way, can be incredibly helpful. 

Rituals, like Greg McKeown stated beautifully in Effortless, are habits with a soul. A ritual is something you enjoy doing in it of itself. If you want to create a habit or you have a chore that needs to be part of your routine, creating a ritual around it makes it enjoyable and desirable. 

Here are 3 examples of labels and/or rituals I’ve adopted that make my life and relationships so much more meaningful.

1. HOPE MOLECULES

The other day a friend of mine shared a video explaining that when you contract your muscles, they secrete proteins into your bloodstream that make you resilient to stress and can protect you from depression. Scientists called these proteins “hope molecules.”

I already knew that exercise is good for anxiety and depression. I knew that moving my body shifts my energy and makes me feel better. But learning the term “hope molecules” has elevated exercise to another level in my mind.

The other day while I was at the gym, I was lifting heavy weight (well, heavy for me) and it was hurting. Rather than focus on the pain, my brain visualized the hope molecules traveling up my bloodstream into my brain. I could literally “see” this happening inside of me, making me healthier and happier. It changed everythin

2. MOMMY, MUSTIN, & MYAN TIME

Several years ago, I signed up for a parenting course called Positive Parenting Solutions. The course taught me the importance of spending uninterrupted quality, 1:1 time with each child for 10-20 minutes per day. Amy calls it mind, body, and soul time.

I took it a step further and labeled that time with each one of my kids. Orly called it mommy time. Justin chose Mustin time (Mommy + Justin = Mustin) and Ryan chose Myan time (Ryan + Mommy = Myan).

Those names stuck. To this day, we intentionally carve out Mommy, Mustin, or Myan time regularly.

Now, any time I am alone with one of my kids — whether I’m headed to a doctor’s appointment with Justin, taking Orly to school in the morning, or I’m grocery shopping with Ryan — we name the moment. That simple label turns what may have been a mundane experience into something meaningful.

3. SCHOOL YEAR’S EVE

(This might be my favorite tradition of all.)

Growing up, I didn’t consider January 1st the beginning of the year. New Year’s Eve was nothing more than a holiday celebrated during Christmas break. 

As a student, what defined a year was the first day of school. 

For kids, a new school year represents a new grade, new teachers, possibly a new school, new experiences and maybe even new friendships.

It’s a time filled with possibility and hope, but can also be laced with fear and insecurities. 

In 2019, I had a thought. What if we honored the anticipation of a new school year the same way we honor the New Year holiday?

 

This led me to name the night before school: School Year’s Eve. 

School Year's Eve

That night, at dinnertime, I surprised the kids with the Five Fingers’ School Year’s Eve Celebration (Five Fingers is what my husband labeled our family of 5 ☺️)

It wasn’t anything fancy, but we set the table with a tablecloth, special dinnerware, and some candles. I then grabbed a pen and paper and asked the boys to set their intentions for this new year. What did they want to focus on or work toward? What were they looking forward to or not looking forward to? What were they excited about, or maybe a little scared of? 

Our School Year’s Eve 10-second countdown started at 8:59:50 pm, and then I gave them 12 grapes each for good luck (a Cuban tradition), followed by a toast with Sparkling Cider. 

The next day, my boys woke up excited and ready to tackle their new year. 


We’ve continued the tradition year after year.

 

Family Rituals

Since then, each year I keep the paper with the previous year’s intentions. 

On School Year’s Eve, the boys review their intentions from the previous year (s). It’s a time to success file, discuss lessons learned, and reflect on their growth.


* I should note that we do not impose any expectations on their intentions. Meaning, we don’t make them set a goal to have straight A’s or anything like that. Their intentions are their intentions. We want them to be self-driven children.

It’s cool to see how the things that seemed like such a big deal one year may seem silly now. (Even for us adults).

This practice has become one of our most exciting celebrations of the year, and it’s such a simple thing to do. 

Living with Intention

Labeling Sundays as Sacred helps me be intentional about having a day dedicated to rest, relaxation, and preparation for the upcoming week. 

Labeling my time with my kids reminds me to be extra present when I’m alone with them. Listen to them. Put my phone away. Give extra hugs and kisses. Sneak in a special something when possible.

Words like hope molecules remind me that exercise isn’t only about weight or physique, but about mental and emotional wellness. 

School Year’s Eve helps my children go back to school with intention and focus on what matters most to them — so that they can define their own success and be proactive in their own lives. 

May you create your own labels and rituals to:

✨ To add more intentionality to your days
✨ Foster connection with people, places, and things, and
✨ Create the space for those sparks of bliss that make life magical. 

And, of course, feel free to borrow mine! 

 

 

August 13, 2023

Inspiration  ·  Parents & Families  ·  Relationships
Should I feel guilty that I want my kids to go back to school?

One of the fellow moms from my son’s upcoming kindergarten class shared an article from the Huffington Post about a mother sending her little boy off to school. The article promised to be a real tear-jerker judging by the image of the woman and the little boy sharing a tender moment. I started reading it right before bed because, who doesn’t like a good tug at the heart strings, but it didn’t get me teary eyed. In fact, I couldn’t even get past the first part where the author wrote: “I’ll miss our quiet days together.” My thought was: what quiet days together?

For a short minute I felt like there was something wrong with me for not relating to this sentimental article.

Could it be because he’s my last child and not my first?

Shouldn’t knowing this is my last baby make this article even sadder?

Am I missing the big picture?

The next morning during my morning run, I made a comment about how excited I was that my kids were starting school next week.  One of my running friends’ asked: “Are you feeling guilty about wanting your kids to return to school?”

“Absolutely not!” I exclaimed, “If I have to hear, ‘Mommy, he hit me first!’ one more time, I’m going to lose it. The one burning question I have is how the hell do parents home-school their children!”

As I was saying this, my mind wandered back to opening that article about the kindergartener and once again I questioned myself: Should I feel guilty about wanting my kids to go back to school? Is there something wrong with me?

We’re in an era where we parents are constantly reminded that our time with our kids is fleeting. We are told to enjoy every minute of our time with them because it won’t last. And it’s true. It doesn’t last. But here’s the problem: in our quest to be mindful, present, and grateful, we can easily fall victim to feeling guilty when we’re ready for a new season.

I remember reading once that when it comes to raising kids, the days are long but the years are short. Having a son that is almost 10, I can certainly vouch for how quickly the years have gone by.

But here’s the thing, the days are long–and if you’re fully invested in your kids– the days can seem even longer. I’ve had a wonderful summer with my kids and I’ve had the luxury and privilege to be fully immersed in their care. This means we’ve traveled together, played together, and stayed up late together. We’ve had a blast!  But it also means that I’ve had to say “No!” to watching TV a gazilion times, mediate fights between siblings, force them to set aside reading and math time every day, and beg them to pick up after themselves. There have been as many yelling matches, tears, and time-outs as there have been I love you’s, cuddles, and belly-aching laughter.

It also means I’ve fallen behind in work and my routines are out of whack. It takes me twice as long to do things like write or respond to an email (This blog post alone has taken me three days to write).

My house has been a loud, rambunctious playground for my 9, 7, and 5 year old boys…and their friends…for three months.

So the answer to the question, “should I feel guilty about wanting my kids to return to school?” is an unequivocal: “NO.”

Some of my parent-friends are dreading back to school routines, waking up early, and structured days. That’s okay, too. I’m pretty sure by December I’ll be excited for another break from routine. But right now, I’m longing for a few solitary hours to focus on my business so I can continue pursuing my passion while raising my kids to pursue theirs. They’re both important and both deserve attention, and the key is to not let one rob you from the other….at least not all the time.

The beautiful thing about ages, stages, and seasons is that you can enjoy them, suffer through them, relish them, and then move on to the next phase. Isn’t that being truly present?

My running buddy, David Altshuler’s, weekly blogpost titled “Eight Year Old World,” was about some time David spent taking care of other people’s eight year olds this summer.  He cleverly articulated: “It is easier to write about eight-year-olds than to live with them.”

In this article, my friend shared wisdom as a man who’s already raised his kids and understands that despite how challenging the process can be, we should be truly grateful for the opportunity. This one hit closer to home and I found myself feeling extra grateful for the fun times I’ve had with my kids this summer.

But I still can’t wait for the kids to go back to school.

A Moment of Clarity

There’s nothing wrong with me for feeling that way…or with you… no matter what you feel.

August 17, 2018