Mindset

Inspiration  ·  Productivity
Do you need Grit or Grace?

A friend of mine was struggling with exhaustion. After a long streak of consistent exercise, she’d suddenly lost motivation. She didn’t feel like waking up early or pushing herself to do a workout. She craved rest, but felt guilty about it.

She called me to ask an interesting question. “How do I discern whether I need grit or grace?”

There will be times in life when you need grit to push through and actually do what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Maybe you’ve been making too many excuses or you’re stuck in your limiting beliefs. You know it’s time to take action even if you don’t “feel” like it. This is that moment when your actions have to come before your motivation.

But there will also be moments when all you’re doing is checking off boxes and working harder and longer in the name of being productive. You may realize that you’re not realizing the benefit that was intended from the actions you’re taking.

I see this often with high achievers. They do the things: healthy eating, exercise, and meditation. They show up for their jobs and their families and get it all done. But somewhere along the way, they stop feeling good. They’re not energized or feeling vibrant. They feel just as depleted as those who aren’t doing these things.

So we go back to the original question: “How do you discern if you need grit or grace?” And the answer is, you listen.

Listen to what your mind, body, and soul is telling you.

Ask yourself these questions and pay close attention to the answers:

  • Is this something you think you’re supposed to do, or something you desire to do? 
  • Is the thing you’re doing resulting in its intended benefit or the opposite?  (Exercise is a great example of this. Exercise is intended to make you feel better, stay fit, and energize you. But sometimes it stops having that effect and you need to prioritize sleep more or change the exercise to change the results. You may not need to push harder, but instead, give yourself permission to slow down and assess what’s going on.
  • What would happen if you didn’t accomplish the goal? 
  • What would happen if you did accomplish the goal?
  • Is there a deadline associated with the goal? 

The truth is that in life you need both — grit and grace. The trick is deciding which one you need more as you determine your next right step. Just remember that you don’t have to tread an endless hamster wheel in the name of grit, and you don’t have to carry exhaustion as a badge of honor.

You get to be passionate and perseverant as well as patient and forgiving. It’s not all or nothing.

I’ll leave you with this final quote: “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Trust yourself.

P.S. Tune into our last Connect with Caro Expert Interview, where Dr. Marcelo Pereyra and I discussed this very topic (minute 32:53).

June 8, 2022

Productivity
Today’s a good day to start

Whatever it is you’ve been wanting to start — today’s a good day to do it.

But it feels like we need to be more ready to start, doesn’t it?

How many times have you said,  “On Monday, I’m going to start working out.”

or

“This weekend, I’m going to start meal prepping so I can eat healthier.”

or

“I’m just waiting for _____ to do ______”

While there are situations in which we do have to wait for something to happen in order to do something else, my challenge to you is to think about what can you do today?

Can you take a step in the right direction today, even if it’s a small one?

In my case, I’ve been wanting to start blogging regularly again for a while now. I want to show up in your inbox each week with an inspirational story or moment of clarity that will serve you.  I used to be really good about that but writing takes time and writing well takes even more time. In managing my evolving business, I’ve lost my consistency. It’s not that I don’t blog — it’s that I’m not doing it religiously. And let’s face it, we don’t build excellent habits when we do things once in a while.

Do you ever think back to a time when you were really consistent about something and then you slowly lost that momentum? Yep, I feel you.

So today I’ve decided to start. To you it may seem like just another email from me, but for me it’s a decision. A commitment to be consistent. This is me putting my stake in the ground and affirming that I am going to show up each week no matter what.

How about you? What habit, decision, or action have you been putting off?  Don’t sit around waiting for motivation, or the perfect circumstance, or even Monday. Decide today will be different — and then make it so. Let’s do it together.

See you next week. ?

June 1, 2022

Inspiration
Maybe you needed to read this today.

I wrote this in a post to my community this week. It was meant to be private — just for the intimate group of women who hold space for these kinds of conversations. But for days my heart has been calling me to share beyond the walls of my membership, as if it’s necessary for you to read it, too.

So here is my open letter to you. I hope it serves you in some way. If you feel it would serve someone else, please feel free to share it.

They say a picture tells a thousand words — so what does this picture tell you about me?

Maybe it tells you I’m super happy, or that I’m about to get on a Zoom call (because I’m in front of my shelves ?). Maybe you think I’m excited about something or maybe it’s clear that I need to wash my hair ?)

But none of this is the full story.

The full story is that I had been experiencing a lot of anxiety and sadness today. I’ve been feeling frustrated with myself (the life of an entrepreneur) and feeling ineffective. I also haven’t exercised in 3 days (which seems to be directly correlated to my happiness levels) plus my kid has been sick with fever.

All these emotions and it was only 10 am ?.

The point is, I was getting nowhere with my to-do list or anything and it’s just one of those days I feel like I’m just #failing.

So you know what I did? I stopped trying to be productive. I got back into bed and took a 20-minute nap next to my son. Then I got up, and I did have 2 zoom calls back to back, so I decided that my attitude couldn’t follow my mood today. My mood had to follow my attitude.

I jumped in the shower and freshened up and, although I didn’t have time to wash and blow-dry, I chose a “cute” bun. I put on makeup and wore different earrings and I opted for a bright happy top to add some color to my life. And then I showed up for my zoom calls to be fully present.

And you know what? I felt better. I shifted my energy as best I could with what I could at that moment.

During one of my zoom calls, the lady I was talking to commented that she was a mess (still in her PJs) and overwhelmed, etc, etc, and she alluded to how “put together” I was. And then I let her in on my little secret — that I put myself together because I felt like I was falling apart. We both felt better when the call ended. ?

That conversation inspired me to write to you. So many of you beat yourselves up when you feel like you’re a hot mess, or when you feel you’re #failing. And you think you’re the only one. You can’t understand why you can’t seem to conquer these emotions. But I realize the problem isn’t that you can’t conquer the emotion, it’s that you think the problem is having the emotion in the first place.

That’s where we get stuck — in judging the experience.

Well, I just wanted you to know I’m on the same rollercoaster as you are and I understand you. Stop judging yourself for having the emotion and instead focus on what you can do to shift your energy right now with what you have. Because although you can’t always control how you feel, you certainly have control over what you do next.

Today I asked you, “what is one action you can take today in attracting the life you want?”

My action today in attracting the life I want was just putting my game face on — because today that was the best I could do.

And maybe you needed to hear that your best doesn’t have to be the best every day, and that’s okay, too.

May 20, 2022

Inspiration  ·  Wellness
When you do things “right” and things still go wrong.

Have you ever felt like you did everything you were supposed to do and things still didn’t work out? It happens all the time. You follow a diet but don’t lose the weight. Even though you work on your marriage, you still get divorced. You commit to the business plan but can’t seem to sell.

Why?

How is it you can do all the right things and things still go wrong?

I remember feeling the frustration of this very question when we discovered my dad’s cancer was spreading. He’d tried all the things: western medicine, integrative medicine, and alternative medicine. He had the right attitude and mindset, exercised, laughed a lot, and followed all his treatments to the T. He did everything he was supposed to do!

I’ll never forget the words Dr. Sanchez said to me as I demanded to understand why my dad wasn’t getting better.

“We just don’t have all the answers,” he said, his soft voice revealing both his sadness and deep empathy.

This may leave you questioning, “Then, what’s the point in even trying?”

And to that question, my answer is that it is our responsibility to do the work, even though we can’t control the outcomes. We may not know how things will turn out, but there is always purpose in the journey. If we pay close attention, there are lessons for us in all of it.

Not too long ago, my friend and chiropractor, Dr. Marcelo Pereyra, faced this very paradox. He was the picture of health and wellness, doing all the things to maintain a peak state until COVID left him hospitalized and fighting for his life.

Join us tonight as I’ll be interviewing Marcelo on his personal journey to overcome illness, what he learned from it, and how we can all approach health and wellness in an uncertain world.

Connect with Caro featuring Dr. Marcelo Pereyra

May 16, 2022 09:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)

Click here to save your spot for this incredible interview.

May 16, 2022

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Success Skills
Focus on what is within your control

Geez, just last week I wrote about 2 being the number of cooperation and us making cooperation true, and this week we’re watching a war unfold before us. It’s frustrating, frightening, and so very sad.

But what I wrote in that post, and I stand firmly by, is that we should only focus on what is within our control. That is exactly what I’ve decided to do today.

  1.  First, I want to share this post written by Randy Gage on the situation in Ukraine.  It was incredibly well-written and informative and I think everyone should read it. We should get this article in the hands of all the leaders we can.
  2. Second, in an effort to support Ukrainians who are relocating with no resources and nowhere to go, I am donating the proceeds of any coaching session you book this week to Global Empowerment Mission.

If you’ve been wanting to work with a life coach; If you need someone to process with, help you shift your perspective, gain more clarity, and start doing the things you know you should be doing — then you should definitely go for a walk with me. 

I love walking sessions because they have the added benefit of getting you to move your body, but if that doesn’t work for you, I am also available via zoom.

I’m donating the proceeds from our session to support Ukraine because that is within my control.
CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR SESSION NOW 

Although the world may not seem like a very cooperative place, you can always find tons of people rallying in support, doing what they can, and showing cooperation during difficult times.  So let’s keep doing our part in hopes that one day the whole world will cooperate too.

Sending you peace and love today and always.

March 3, 2022

Inspiration  ·  Mindset
Make it true

Last week I was planning a lunch date with my friend and coach, Susan. When we agreed to meet on Tuesday, she noted that our lunch would be on 2-22-22. Whether you’re into numbers or not, there is definitely a coolness factor to this date we can’t ignore.

“2 is the number for cooperation,” Susan, who love this kind of stuff, explained. “The world is going to shift into a state of more cooperation.”

“Let’s see if that’s true,” I said skeptically. But without missing a beat, Susan replied, “Well, let’s make it true!”

Let’s make it true

Susan’s response reminded me of one of the most important principles I teach and try to live by: Focus only on what is within your control. Of course, we can’t predict or control how the world will behave, nor can we expect a sequence of numbers to completely alter our state of affairs.

But we can be more cooperative. We can seek harmony in our relationships and environment. As the famous quote from Gandhi suggests, we can be the change we want to see in the world.

What will you make true?

Our perceptions, thoughts, and actions create our reality. So if 2-22-22 serves as nothing else, I hope it inspires you to think about what you want to make true. What can you focus on that is within your control? How can you participate in creating the things you want to be true?

If we did more of that, maybe we could change the world.

February 22, 2022

Inspiration  ·  Mindset
When you can’t see clearly

Isn’t the first week of January supposed to be the week when you’re most geared up to rock the year? You should be clear on exactly what you need to do to have your best year ever, right?

Well, I don’t feel like that at all right now. On the contrary, I feel like this:

I spent a lot of time in December reflecting so I could have clarity for 2022 and yet, everything is foggy. Well, maybe not everything — but when one area of your life or business feels foggy it can make life seem blurry overall.

Upon deeper reflection, I realized this is not the only January I’ve had this experience.

A friend of mine referred to it as the post-holiday slump, which suggests this could be a thing. And that means you may be feeling the same way too.

This haziness creeps up on us and makes us feel disoriented and discouraged. But it is in these moments that we have to focus on what we can control. Here is how I’m dealing with this new year slump. If you’re going through a similar situation, I hope this can serve you too.

Talk about it.

Sometimes we just need to vent and get it out. Talking about our problem, confusion, issue, or frustration helps us acknowledge it and release it. Call someone who helps you process. If you have a coach, book a session. If you have a community or mastermind, reach out to them. They don’t have to have the perfect answer or solution.  Just the exercise of verbalizing what you’re feeling can help you get the clarity you need. Writing is also extremely therapeutic, so if you’re not comfortable sharing out loud, then pour your thoughts onto paper.

Take on a Challenge.

Challenges change your energy. There are all sorts of challenges for exercise, meditation, writing, productivity, cooking, etc and you can find free ones as well as paid ones. On Sunday I start my 5-day Fasting Challenge. I’m particularly excited about it because one of the benefits of fasting is reducing mental fog. Food can cloud our thinking and I indulged more than usual during the holiday season. I’m hoping the fast gives me the clarity I need right now. Decide a challenge you want to do and take it on. They’re short-term; they give you a boost, and they create a domino effect in other areas of your life.

Go for a Walk.

Some people avoid walking because they don’t want to exercise; some avoid it because they don’t think it’s enough exercise!

But walking is as good for the mind as it is for the body.

In Eric Barker’s blog post, he discussed a study that revealed, “Walking opens up the free flow of ideas, and it is a simple and robust solution to the goals of increasing creativity and increasing physical activity.”

Moving your body helps you get unstuck just like talking and writing. That’s why most of my coaching sessions are walking sessions.

Even if you’ve already done a workout for the day, get up and walk around. Go outside and change the scenery. It helps.

Trust the process.

My wise friend, Betsy, was counseling a friend once who lacked clarity. “Imagine you’re driving on a mountain in the pitch dark. The only light is coming from your car’s headlights. Headlights don’t illuminate the whole path,” she shared. “They just allow you to see enough to keep moving forward and have faith that you will not fall off the edge.”

When faced with a difficult situation, a decision, or something that requires action — we all want clarity, certainty, and confirmation that we’re making the right call. But sometimes all we get is 2 small headlights that illuminate just enough to keep us moving forward.

Even in the picture I shared above, the path is foggy, but at least I see the road.

It’s in moments like these that you have to trust that you can see just enough not to fall off the edge. Trust that life is rigged in your favor. Even though you may be in a slump right now, there are better days ahead.

I’m taking my advice today ?.

January 5, 2022

Inspiration  ·  Mindset  ·  Success Skills
I didn’t know I needed her.

Has someone ever pushed you into doing something you didn’t think you needed? 

There was a time in my life when a dear friend of mine told me I had to go see Susan.

I didn’t think I needed anything except a new website because I was changing careers. 

“Why?” I asked. 

“You’ll know why when you meet her.” 

I’d been in the personal development world forever. I had a ton of coaches and speakers as friends. Why would I pay for a coach? 

But my friend insisted I hire her. 

Susan asked why I was there.

“I have no idea but Bruce made me come.” 

Susan laughed.

That’s how our relationship began. 

This amazing woman challenged me and helped me to identify my limiting beliefs. She opened the doors to a new way of thinking, to new language, and to tap into my spirituality — something I had never done before. 

Sometimes you need to do things you didn’t think you needed to do in order to elevate your life. 

In the 5 years since I met Susan, I wrote a book (she played a huge role), stopped practicing law, and built a thriving community focused on mindset, wellness, and relationships. I also create inspirational programs such as my Connect with Caro series, where I interview experts and dive deep into their personal stories and backgrounds. Click here to see the episode when Susan was my guest. 

Now guess what…?

For the first time ever, I’ll be hosting Connect with Caro live and in person. And Susan will be interviewing me! 

This incredible woman embodies much of what I want to be when I grow up. And here’s a fun fact: We actually share a birthday (December 8th). We’re that connected! 

Join us for a meaningful conversation about mindset, wellness, relationships, and Looking Over the Edge. We’ll also talk about her upcoming book! 

Not only is this going to be an evening of networking and inspiration, but it’s also our birthday celebration!

Please join us on December 9th, 5:30–7:30 pm at Dadeland Mall next to the JCPenney (formerly Nordstrom). The event is open to the public but seating is limited so please rsvp here. 

 

 

 

December 8, 2021

Inspiration
An affirmation for you.

Every morning at 7 am, I send a daily affirmation and its corresponding reflection to my CORE Community.

These daily affirmations motivate and inspire us to start our mornings with intention, meaning, and purpose. I don’t know if you needed this, but I felt called to share today’s affirmation and reflection with you, too.

I AM PRESENT:

Even though the holidays should be the ideal time to be present and grounded, it’s often the time when we’re least so. It’s easy to get wrapped up in expectations and attachments to what the holidays should look like. It’s easy to feel nostalgic about the past or anxious about the future. For some of us, it’s especially hard to stay present because we have so many responsibilities. 

But no matter what you’re feeling this week, whether you’re sad, excited, or overwhelmed, I invite you to get grounded and look around. Who are the people you love who are around to support you? What are you grateful for? What opportunities do you have to show love or feel love? What is special about the day, the weather, the moment?

Will you laugh today? Will you cry today?  Both are part of living a good life.

There are always special moments we can focus on— and those are experienced in the present. 

May we remain present, grounded, and intentional on this day before Thanksgiving. And may our presence turn into gratitude for how lucky we are to be alive. 

I hope this message serves you and inspires you to be fully present today.

Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, know that I am thankful you’re here today and every day.

November 24, 2021

Inspiration  ·  Relationships
Doing Great and Falling Short

Do you ever feel like just when you’re at the top of your game, you realize there’s something you missed or someone you failed to please? No matter how hard you try, there’s always a ball dropped somewhere along the way. That can be such a discouraging feeling.

It was a Saturday, and my son, Orly, had his District Thespian competition. As a school chaperone, I was going to be there from 7:30 am until at least 8 pm. I spent a few days before the competition coordinating logistics for the rest of my family. Ryan had a football game. Justin had a birthday party. Orlando would have to shuffle the kids to their respective friends’ houses.

I woke up early on Saturday morning to make sure each child had everything they needed: cleats, bathing suit, towel, etc. I left notes in their backpacks and headed off with my oldest.

Around noon, I called to check in on each of my boys and wished my youngest luck at his football game. 

Everything went smoothly. Orlando traveled back and forth to catch some of Ryan’s game and some of Orly’s competitions. 

At around 6 pm, Orlando and the boys came to wait for Orly’s scores as a family. I sat in the auditorium thinking how wonderful that the boys were there supporting their brother and grateful that we were together. 

Just then, Ryan tugged on my shoulder and pulled me closer so I could hear him. 

“Mommy, do you think maybe next week you can come to my football game?”

“Of course, my love, I love going to your games!” 

“But do you think you can stay for the entire game? It’s just that I’m playing well and I want you to see what I’m doing.” 

It then dawned on me that Ryan had only had 2 games this season. I had to leave early during the first game because Orly had an accident, and I missed the second one because of Orly’s competition. We were all there to support Orly, but we weren’t there to support Ryan.

That moment shed light on the fact that Orly’s demanding pursuits often take me away from the little ones. When you’re saying yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something else.

It’s easy to let your emotions take over in these moments. Some people attack themselves using shame or guilt. Others defend themselves using blame or excuses. Neither approach solves the issue.

I felt awful at first. And then I adopted the both/and perspective. I am both a present and loving mom and I can’t be everywhere all at once. I can do great and fall short.

Most things in life are both/and scenarios. You can want more and be content with what you have. You can be both happy and sad. You can have made progress and still have more to grow. You can love what you do and want to do it less. 

The both/and perspective eliminates the all-or-nothing mentality — which often leads to self-sabotage and quitting when we aren’t perfect. Instead, I propose we take a more stoic approach, acknowledging what we’re doing well and what we can improve.

I had a conversation with Ryan and told him how proud of him I was for telling me how he felt. After apologizing for not being there, I promised to be at the next game the entire time. The next day we went for a long bike ride to enjoy some much-needed “Myan Time.” 

Next Saturday you’ll find me at the football field, front and center, cheering on my 8-year-old.  This won’t be the first or the last time that I am divided between the boys’ activities, or that I’ll be unable to be there for one of them for reasons beyond my control. 

Nonetheless, when my kids are grown, I hope they know that I was both imperfect and I did my best.

Moment of Clarity

What situations are tugging at your heartstrings lately that you could apply a both/and perspective to? Just remember you’re not alone. Life is a constant act of shifting and tweaking in our attempts to get things right. As Glennon Doyle says, it is both beautiful and brutal (Brutifal). 

November 10, 2021

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