One day during my Public Defender years, I was in court when my husband, a mutual friend of ours, and I ran into each other in the hallway. “Wow Jordan, you look great! Have you lost weight?” My husband complimented his buddy. 

“Yea, I finally got my butt back in the gym,” he nodded. “Once you’re out of the routine, it’s so hard to get back into it. I pushed it off for too long.”

“Tell me about it,” Orlando replied, knowing his exercise was also overdue. 

Jordan continued, “What’s crazy is when I finally bit the bullet and started working out again, I remembered how good it felt. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to get back into something even though you know it’ll feel great. I haven’t felt this good in years.”

My husband and I nodded in agreement. We both knew exactly what he meant.

Recently a girlfriend of mine was telling me how she was struggling with her social media videos. “Remember when I was shooting video consistently?” she sighed. “I’d finally overcome the fear of being in front of the camera, and now that I haven’t done one in a while I’m intimidated again!”

It’s so easy to stop doing the things you know are good for you or your business. And it’s so difficult to get back on the saddle when you’ve fallen out of your routine. This is true in all areas of life. 

I’m guilty of having lost my rhythm… and that’s why I haven’t written a blog post in over a month. 

What happened to me

On December 25th, I was hospitalized with a severe case of pneumonia. Although I wrote a few short Instagram posts, I felt too weak to generate a full blog/newsletter. After being released from the hospital seven days later, the doctors told me to “take it easy,” “slow down,” and “rest a lot.” 

I spent most of January obeying the doctors as best I could, taking that time to work on my end-of-year finances, which I hadn’t been able to do during my December book launch. I also focused on getting organized, simplifying my life, sleeping and starting a meditation practice. But I didn’t write a single blog post. 

With each week that passed, I remembered that I owed you a blog post, but I found an excuse why I couldn’t do it. Every week felt harder than the last. Day after day I created a bigger resistance and feeling of overwhelm toward blogging. Ironically, I did this despite missing the practice.

I missed feeling the flow of inspiration I get when I write consistently and the sense of pride I have in a well-written blog. I missed reading your response emails to my articles and connecting with you on a weekly basis.

Have you ever thought about calling a family member or friend that you haven’t spoken to in a long time? Do you wonder if it’ll be awkward when you call again? Will they be happy to hear from you or angry that you haven’t called? Do you even know what to say?

That’s kind of how I felt. I didn’t know how to get back into the flow. It was as if I was starting this difficult task that had once been such a normal part of my routine. 

Before I knew it, January was over. The first month of the year had passed, and I was yet to write one post. I realized I had a decision to make:

Was I going to quit blogging because it felt too hard to get back into it? Was I going to throw our relationship away? Or was I going to bite the bullet and push myself to start again?

I thought of our friend Jordan and our hallway conversation years ago. The answer became crystal clear. 

Starting Over

Although I’m embarrassed and feel a little awkward admitting to you how hard writing this blog has been for me, I also believe there’s a lot of purpose in this happening. 

Because undoubtedly you’ve experienced something similar. Whether it’s getting back into the gym or starting to eat healthy again; reaching out to a long-lost friend, asking for forgiveness or offering forgiveness; or even shooting social media videos or getting back into a discipline for your business. Whatever it is or how long it’s been—I’m here to tell you it’s time you get your butt back in it.

January is a month of goals, resolutions and fresh starts. But just because you didn’t start working towards your goals in January doesn’t mean you have to wait until next year! You don’t need January or a Monday to start a new habit or pursue a goal. All you need is to make the decision and take the first step.

So here I am again, back in your inbox, shyly saying “Hello, I know it’s been a while, but I’m so happy to be here… and I’ll see you again next week.”

My hope is that you, too, will muster up the courage to do the thing you’ve been struggling to do.

So long as you’re alive, you get to start over again. 

A Moment of Clarity 

No matter how uncomfortable, embarrassed, or scared you are, start doing the things you know you should do to live your best life. The rewards will far exceed the pain of getting started.

Checking off items from your to-do checklist can feel rewarding and satisfying, especially on those days where you can knock out several items at once. At least for me, I regularly create a long list of all the things I have pending. I get a sick pleasure of crossing each item off the list to mark its completion. It makes me feel “productive.” For years I tried writing a book by adding “write” as a task on that laundry list of miscellaneous things I had to do. But I rarely got to it, and when I did, I wouldn’t have enough time to get my writing-brain working. There was always too much to do. 

When I realized this would never work, I separated a few hours one day a week to focus only on my writing. That helped a lot. But I knew that if I wanted to finish my book, I needed more than one writing day. I rearranged my schedule to block out large chunks of time almost every day to write and leaving only one admin day a week to get everything else done. 

That was an anxiety-provoking process. I confess I’ve never felt so unproductive as I did at the end of some of my writing days. After sitting in front of my computer for hours I could have written one page or one paragraph or struggled with one sentence the whole time. By the end of the day, I usually felt no closer to finishing my book than I did when I started. That was frustrating. The weeks turned into months, and friends and family would ask “When are you going to finish your book?”

 “I’m working on it!” I’d respond.

“But what’s your deadline?” they’d ask. 

“I’m not sure,” I’d reply half-heartedly wondering if I’d ever finish or if I was doing any of this correctly.  

I spent a year working on my book, not knowing how much longer it would take, if it would be any good, or if anyone would want to read it. Some days it felt like I was wasting my time. But I kept plugging at it week after week, settling for only getting my task-crossing dopamine rush on Tuesdays.

And then the other day I watched the documentary, The Dawn Wall. It shares the story of Tommy Caldwell’s journey to becoming the best mountain climber in the world. At some point Tommy decided he wanted to do something that had never been done before—to climb the Dawn Wall on the El Capitan mountain. It was one specific section of the mountain that seemed impossible because of all its blank spaces. There didn’t seem to be anything that a climber could grip their hands and feet onto for the climb.  But Tommy wanted to find a way. He spent a year hanging off the side of El Cap attempting to identify enough cracks and crimps to delineate a route up the wall.

Let me repeat that: Tommy spent a year hanging off the side of El Cap attempting to identify enough cracks and crimps to delineate a route up the wall. Can you imagine spending an entire year hanging off the side of a wall with a rope, just looking and touching the surfaces of the rock? I know I can’t. Eventually Tommy created a route he thought might be possible. Kevin Jorgensen joined Tommy’s passion project, and they spent the next six years attempting that route. Six more years! 

Kevin admitted that he could never tell if they were wasting their time or doing something grand. He lived with that uncertainty for six years, but kept going back to that mountain hoping to accomplish their goal.  During those years with thousands of failed attempts, the only indicator of their progress was that they were still there to see another day. When they weren’t on the wall, they were back at home training for the climb. 

In 2015, Tommy and Kevin were the first people ever to free climb the Dawn Wall, making history and an incredible story for a documentary. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a must watch (https://www.netflix.com/title/81004270)

Their story inspired me to continue doing the work that matters to me, regardless of how long I take to accomplish my goals. 

Lyn Manuel Miranda is another example of someone whose work took years to complete. Lyn Manuel spent a year writing one song in Hamilton. One year for one song. It then took him five more years to write the play. I wonder if he could tell whether he was wasting his time or doing something grand. Regardless, he kept at it. He took his time and trusted the process. He continued doing the work that mattered to him. And he came up with Hamilton, one of the most brilliant Broadway musicals of all time.

These are just two examples of people who focused on one thing. They committed years of their life on their work despite no guarantees of greatness. Yet in both cases what they produced was extraordinary. 

It got me thinking of being “productive.” We live in a fast-paced busy society, juggling a thousand responsibilities and commitments. Over time, it’s easy to develop that habit of always being on the go. And we buy into this notion that the more we do, the more productive we are. But we fail to recognize that some projects have their process. They take time and require patience. They need room for error and correction. The only way to complete these projects is if we’re willing to delay gratification; even during those moments when we can’t tell if we’re wasting our time!

A Moment of Clarity

Even if you don’t feel like you are being productive today, you could be we producing something great for tomorrow. Keep working on your greatness!