Personal growth

Happy Sacred Sunday!

My great-aunt said to me once, “There are problems that come to us, and there are problems we look for.”

Those words have never left me.

Recently, a conversation with my son reminded me of that saying, but it led us to a deeper reflection that I thought was so important. I wanted to share it with you.

Orly was asking me why I do quarterly fasts if I’m already healthy and fit. I brought up my dad’s cancer and how I’m trying to speak to my genetics, yara yara.

As I was saying this, a thought came into my mind:

What if you get cancer, anyway?

I was so grateful for this thought because it was an intuitive nudge reminding me to make some things clear to my teenager.

1. What is within your control and what is not

I didn’t want my son to confuse me saying, “I do these fasts because I don’t want to get sick” with “By doing these things I won’t get sick.”

We all want to have a sense of control in our lives. But in reality, it is a false sense of control. Life is full of mysteries and often things happen we simply can’t explain.

There are no guarantees of what your future will hold, no matter what you do.

Therein lies the detail I wanted to convey:

I have decided to step into the identity of a person who does not look for the problem.

That’s why I try to eat a clean diet, exercise, fast, do the sauna, avoid drugs, alcohol, and smoking, work with a life coach, work on my relationships, etc.

I do those things because those things are within my control. But you know what’s not in my control?

Anything else.

So that’s why you…

2. Do the work, surrender the outcome

If you want a result, you have to be proactive in getting that result.

You want to be healthy? Create healthy habits.

You want to have a fulfilling relationship? Do your part in your relationships.

You want to be wealthy? Focus on creating wealth.

Work for what you want.

The tricky part of life is, though, sometimes you do the work, and the outcome is not what you wanted.

You maintain healthy habits, and you still get sick.

You work on your marriage, and your partner leaves you for someone else.

You save all your money, and a financial crisis wipes out your savings.

I wanted Orly to understand that even when we don’t look for the problem, sometimes problems come — and no matter what, we will be okay.

3. Life is rigged in your favor

That little thought “what if you get cancer, anyway?” which intruded my brain as I was explaining myself to Orly, sparked another thought, “then that means you were supposed to learn something from it.”

What did we come into this life to do, if not to learn?

Every problem you have teaches you something about life or about yourself.

I felt this sense of peace and rush of confidence consume me.

Although I want to be a person who doesn’t look for problems, I know that when problems come, they are vehicles for me to learn, grow, and evolve.

This is the knowing that allows you to behave as if life is rigged in your favor. It is not being attached to a favorable outcome, rather, to a favorable perspective.

That changes everything.

Watch the video I did about this on Instagram.

As you reflect on this Sacred Sunday, I invite you to do the things in your life that avoids problems, while simultaneously accepting the problems you have as teachers in your journey.And once again, we carefully walk the fine line of this complicated, yet blissful experience.

Sending you so much love.